Life Without You

chapter 4

"We got Sinus Rhythm!" Bailey shouted as they started operating again

"We're gonna have to open up her chest. Get me a thoracotomy tray and a scalpel!" Erica said

The doctors all worked hard to keep Meredith alive and make sure she could stay alive. They had already lost her when she went to Boston and now they were almost about to loose her in their O.R.

Another ambulance from the accident was brought in, Derek went to do a neuro exam and saw Owen and Bailey already with the patient.

"Is she alright? The woman and her kid?" The guy asked as Bailey stitched up his arm

"What?" Owen asked

"I was in a rush, I didn't even look to see if there was another car. Are they okay?"

The doctors knew who he was asking about so they just ignored him. 

"Please just tell me I didn't kill anyone, I was late for my job and I was in a rush."

"Well now you're missing your job anyway." Bailey said as they took him into a trauma room

Derek wanted to let him suffer and leave him knowing what he put Meredith and her daughter through but he knew he would get fired and it wouldn't change anything. Bailey sewed up a cut on his arm and left, Owen was still assessing him and making sure he didn't have internal bleeding or any injuries.

"Everything looks fine but he had a head lac so get him a CT before he leaves." Derek told his resident as he took his gloves off.

"Do you know anything?" The driver asked as Derek threw his gloves away

"What?"

"About the lady I hit? Is she gonna be alright?"

"Right now she's in surgery, her doctors are working hard just to keep her alive and her daughter's fine but she might have to grow up without a mother because of you. So no, she's not gonna be alright." Derek said angrily as he walked out of the room.

He saw that Mia was in the waiting room so he sat down next to her, hours passed as Derek sat with Mia and held her as she fell asleep. He wondered how old Mia was and who her father was, she looked about 2-3 years old so he thought Meredith had probably met someone in Boston. He knew that he still loved her even from different cities.

Mia was adorable and he tried to keep her occupied with sleep or by playing with her so that she wasn't worried about Meredith too much. It was hard since he was worried about her too, he still cared deeply about Meredith even though he was too scared to show it. He remembered a fight they had before she left after she had quit her job at the hospital.

"Meredith can we talk?" He asked as he walked into an on-call room Meredith was sitting in

"About?"

"You quit?"

"I don't want to talk about this with you." Meredith said as she grabbed her things and got up. Derek leaned against the door.

"What do you want? Don't you have a wife waiting for you or something?"

"I want to talk, just because we're not together doesn't mean I can't care about you."

"It does actually, we're over. You chose her, so yes it does mean you can stop caring. Get out of my way"

"She's my wife, I can't just throw away 11 years of marriage with her. Not without trying."

"She could."

"What?"

"She could throw it all away, actually she did. You may too blind to see it but she threw away 11 years of marriage. And she did it with your best friend, I know you still love her and you want to try but I won't be at the bar when it doesn't work out. I won't be waiting for you, I won't be here. I have a life to live and I'm not going to wait around for you to change your mind or realize you were wrong. So goodbye."