Depressed // lh

Chapter 10

Noel's Point Of View

I thrashed around in my bed. The dream just wouldn't go away and I couldn't find a way to push it out of my mind. I couldn't scream. It's kind of hard to get any noise out my mouth. I felt as if I'm getting choked by some spirit. I felt the hot tears coming down my cheeks and I couldn't lift my arms up to wipe them. It's like I'm tied down to my bed. I couldn't move my legs, or my arms, I couldn't even breath.

I jolted up and looked around the room. I'm still inside my bedroom. Aunt Cathy didn't run in, I'm guessing she never heard me.

I stood up from my bed and ran my hands over my face, wiping away the tears. I stumbled towards the bathroom and turned the light on.

I gasp.

Who is that? It didn't look like me at all. The blue eyes looked dull, the color in my hair looked faded, what did this dream do to me? My cheeks are red and puffy from crying. I couldn't recognize myself.

I turned on the water faucet and splashed some water all of my face. I wiped my face off with the towel and shut the faucet off.

Not even bothering going to bed, I walked downstairs. I opened the front door and sat on the porch.

The street lights are on, making the sidewalks shine. The stars are out. The breeze felt good, I could barely hear the whistling of the wind. I looked to my right and saw a figure, a tall figure, walking down the street. They're only a few feet away from me.

"Noel?" It's Luke.

"Hi, Luke," I said, looking down at my feet.

"What are you doing out here? It's only two in the morning," He said.

"I could say the same for you," I said. "But, I had a nightmare."

"I just couldn't sleep," He said. "Been thinking a lot about things."

"Me and you both," I mumbled, fiddling with my fingers.

Luke chucked. "You seem interesting, Noel."

"Why do you say that?" I asked, looking into his eyes.

"I don't know, to be honest," He laughed. I couldn't help, but laugh. "I mean, you don't go anywhere. You seem to have an attitude, not to sound offensive or anything. And then, you're all nice and rainbows and cotton candy and such."

"I couldn't help, but say I am bipolar," I said, looking away.

It kind of hurts me when people talk about my actions. They have no idea what it feels like to be me. They wouldn't want to be me. I don't want to be me. It kills me, knowing I won't be the same after everything that has happened.

"Don't feel ashamed," Luke said. "It's probably because I don't know you as much."

"As much?" I asked.

"Lauren told me some things about you," He said. "Like, you're from Arizona and your middle name is Annabelle."

"That's all?" I asked.

He nodded. I breathed a sigh of relief, relieved that she didn't open her huge mouth about me and my depression.

"Is there anything else?" Luke asked, looking at me.

I shook my head. I don't want to tell him anything that involves with that category. It hurts to think about, but it's worst to actually say it out loud. Aunt Cathy has always told me to never keep your feelings bottled up, but it's too hard, I'm that type who just doesn't talk.

I'm a tough nut to crack.

"Alright, how about this?" Luke said. "You and I spend a day tomorrow, just getting to know each other. Deal?"

He held his hand out for me to shake. Should I really do it? I mean, I've told myself to not get involved with anyone after Landon, I'm afraid it'll happen again, plus I'm not over him and I'll never will be. But, I did it anyway and I don't know what my mind is doing.

I shook his hand.

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NO SCHOOL FOR ME TOMORROW! THANKS TO ALL OF THIS SNOW! I AM NOW TESTING SO UPDATES WILL BE KIND OF SLOW! THANK YOU!