Depressed // lh

Chapter 2

Noel's Point Of View

I followed Aunt Cathy into the extremely tall brick building. I'm guessing she remembered to schedule appointment dates with a therapist.

And that's when my heart sunk. I'll have to start all over. With new people. I hated it before, but I know for sure, I'll hate it even worse here. I got used to my therapist back home and now I have to go through this. It won't be easy.

After signing in, we sat in the waiting room. It's empty in here. I mean, there's chairs and such. But, the colors. They're plain. No sign of happiness. But, I kinda like it. I'm not happy. I don't want to be happy. I'm afraid of being happy.

I stopped being happy as soon as I found out about Landon's death. I shut everyone out. It turned out, after so long, my friends stopped talking to me. My sister didn't hang out with me, but tried to at some times. The only people I have are my parents. I even shut out Landon's parents and I regret that. I don't regret at things. I don't feel pity at all. I don't receive pity at all. If someone looks at me with pity, I'll tell to not do that, and they'll walk away. It wouldn't bother me. Everyone walks away. They disappear with the snap of my fingers. Damn, I wish I could disappear that fast. It'll be relief for everyone. I'm a burden to everyone. I always cry and scream. I have no respect for anyone and that may include myself. I throw things. I break things. I broke my mother's favorite glass and I evilly laughed about it. I'm evil. This is what depression does to me. It changed me and I fucking hate it.

A woman in a white coat walks into the waiting room. She looked around until her eyes stopped on me. "Noel Dawson?"

I huffed and I rolled my eyes. I stood up and followed the woman, whom I found out her name is Kayla, into a even colorless room. I sit down in a chair and Kayla sits across from me. I looked around the room and it's quite identical to the waiting room, but even smaller.

"How are you?" She asked. I shrugged and shook my head. "I'm just going to ask a few questions, alright? Just to get to know you and you'll be familiar with me because I'll be your therapist."

It's not even ten minutes into this appointment and I'm already despising her.

"What's the cause of your depression?" She asked. I kept silent. I'm not comfortable with her, so I'm not opening my mouth. "What's the big effect on your move from America?" Again, I kept silent.

She sighed and set her clipboard on the counter next to us. She grabbed a pen and wrote some things down on the piece of paper. She tells me my session is done and we file out. As we walked out, Kayla hands Aunt Cathy the paper. She read and than looked at me. She thanked Kayla and told me it's time to leave. We piled into the car and I instantly knew something was about happen.

"I'm guessing you have no idea what Kayla wrote on that paper, do you?" Aunt Cathy said. I shook my head and I rolled my eyes. "You're not talking. You're giving her an attitude. Noel, the reason why you're parents sent you here is to have you start a new life. Okay, after what happened, they couldn't handle seeing you like this, so I offered to have you come live with me. I'm trying to help you."

We pulled up to a stop sign. I opened the door and slammed it. I ignored Aunt Cathy's calls. I put my hoodie over my head and I ran down the street.

I hate it here. I hate everyone. Why can't I just disappear? It'll be better. I can't handle this. I need Landon. He's the reason why I'm alive. I don't deserve to be alive now that he's dead. I just can't do it.

After walking for like two hours, I approach a girl who's on the sidewalk, crying. She's sitting, with her arms wrapped around her knees. I cleared my throat. "Are you okay?"

She looked up. "No, I'm not. I'm just depressed and the situation I'm in is making it even worse. I'm Lauren, by the way. Lauren Dawkins."

"Noel."

"Lovely name. You don't sound Australian. I'm assuming you're from America?"

"I'm from Arizona."

"Oh, I've heard that's a lovely place. I mean, that's what people who've been there tell me."

"No, it's a place of broken hearts and shattered souls."

"I'm sorry?"

"It's a metaphor. Uh, what are you doing out here?"

"This girl wouldn't leave me alone. She's taunting me here and at school."

"Do you want me to take you home? So, you won't get hurt or anything."

"That'd be nice."

I followed Lauren to her house. It's pretty much the same size as mine. She walked in and she gestured me to follow her. I stood there awkwardly after Lauren shut the door. "Ashton!"

Ashton?

Suddenly, a boy with curls comes into the room. Lauren explained about me helping and walking her home.

"Oh, thank you! My mother was quite worried," Ashton said.

I nodded my head. Lauren took my hand and pulled me downstairs. Three other guys were sitting on leather couches. A boy with black hair. A boy with blue hair?

But, there's one that sticks out the most. He had blonde hair that's in a quiff. We locked eyes and I sharply looked away. I couldn't get attached. After Landon? Hell no.

"That's Calum, Michael, and Luke," Lauren said. I followed her back upstairs. She introduced me to her brother, Harry, and her parents.

After about an hour, I told Lauren it's time for me to leave. She gave me her number and I gave her mine. I said bye. I walked out of the house, but with the image of blue eyes stuck in my dangerous mind.

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