Depressed // lh

Chapter 6

Noel's Point Of View

Ever since that night at Calum's, I haven't talked to Luke or any of the others. I've spoken to Lauren sometimes. She usually texts me or FaceTimes me. I don't leave the house, only for therapy sessions, with a new therapist after what happened with Kayla, or the grocery store because Aunt Cathy forces me to tag along with her, she already knows I hate the outdoors and pretty much isolated myself in the comfort of my bedroom.

"NO!" I screamed, walking away from Aunt Cathy. "I DO NOT WANT TO LEAVE THIS HOUSE! GET AWAY FROM ME!"

I hear footsteps, knowing it's her that's following me, I've decided to ignore it. I slam the bedroom door, only it stopping from shutting by her foot. I throw a book at her and gave her a nasty glare.

"Noel, stop it! Your actions have been uncalled for, for the last couple of days!" She yelled.

"I don't care! Do you think I care?! I've told you over and over that I don't want to be around anyone in this stupid city! I hate it here! Don't you get that?!" I yelled, throwing my arms around the place to show my expressions.

"I get that, Noel. But, like your mother said, you need to commun-" She said.

"I don't fucking care what my mother says! Alright?! This is stupid! My life is over! Who fucking cares if I'm alive or dead! Okay?! I'm a burden to everyone. I'm a nuisance. A disgrace. I don't care anymore. I'm destroying everything because everything destroyed me!" I screamed.

I punched the wall. And again. Again. Again. I punched the wall until my knuckles started bleeding. Bits of skin came off, but I didn't care. I screamed out profanities while I assaulted the wall. Aunt Cathy walks over and pulls me by my waist, away from beaten wall. I pushed her away and knocked objects off my dresser. I tore my bedsheets off and threw my pillows. I fell to the ground and started violently sobbing.

I practically destroyed the whole room. I destroyed myself. I destroyed Aunt Cathy. I'm like a tornado. I'm destroying everything in my path and won't stop until I get tired or I've reached my breaking point, which happens a lot.

Aunt Cathy sat next to me and rubbed my back as I sobbed.

"Noel," she whispered. "I'm so sorry that you're feeling this way. I'm trying, Noel. I really am. I'm going to talk to your parents and see if I could do anything."

I kept on sobbing. Aunt Cathy excused herself and walked out of the room. I jumped up and bolted towards the bathroom. I hovered over and threw up. I fell and started sobbing again. Aunt Cathy ran into the bathroom and crouched down next to me. She hands me a cup of water and a bowl of crackers. She moved the hair out of my face and helps me drink the water. She stands up and holds out her hand. I grabbed it and she pulls me into my bedroom.

"You need some rest," She said. "I'll wake you up for dinner, okay?"

I nodded and she gives me a hug. She cleans up my bedroom while I change into comfortable clothes. Everything is back where it goes and my bed is made again. She told she'll fix the wall. She walks out, leaving me alone in a silent, beaten room.

---

The wind blows my hair back. I'm taking a walk. I approach a park. I sit on a bench and watched as the ducks flew in the sky.

I wished I could fly like that. I could fly away from here and go somewhere else. I assume they have freedom. Something I don't have.

"Hi, Noel," Luke said, walking towards me.

Great.

"Hey," I mumbled. He sits next to me and watches the birds with me. "What do you want?"

He shrugged. "Nothing, you seemed lonely. I just wanted to give you some company."

"What if I wanted to be alone?" I asked him.

"No one wants to be alone," Luke said. "Why do you want to be alone?"

"Just leave," I said.

"Fine," He said. "But, seriously. I just want to be friends, Noel."

He waves and walks down the sidewalk. I exhaled deeply and closed my eyes.

/•\•/•\

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