Sunny Side Up - JJ Maybank

13

"Sunny, what do you want?"

"You know what I want, Rafe. We can sort out an agreement with the court if you really want custody, but you can't just take her without telling me," I said calmly.

"Where's your guard dog today?" he mocked, peeking around me theatrically to look for JJ.

"Rafe, I'm serious, I want her back."

"Soon," he answered, shutting the door but I stuck my foot in the way, I knew it hadn't been long enough yet.

"Why do you care about her all of a sudden?" I asked honestly.

"Look, Sunny. I realised I haven't been the best dad, but I was young and stupid and so coked up that I wouldn't have been a good father. I'm clean now – six months sober and I want to be a part of my daughter's life."

His voice cracked with emotion and he had tears in his eyes so I realised he was being genuine. I had tears in my eyes as well when I realised that he really did care about Flora. He surprised me by pulling me into a hug, and I made eye contact with JJ behind him to signal him to just go without Flora. Rafe and I were finally sorting things out civilly and our plan would ruin any chance of a mutual understanding.

Rafe and I had a heart to heart for the first time since we'd known each other, and decided that we would arrange a schedule for when he could see Flora. He gave her back to me and I thanked him as I made my way back to the car where JJ was waiting.

After fussing over Flora and checking she was okay; she didn't understand Rafe was her father as she'd been calling JJ her daddy for a while; I turned to look at JJ, who after greeting my daughter hadn't said a word to me.

"Are you okay?"

"Why didn't you let me go through with the plan?" he asked harshly, not even looking at me.

"Rafe and I were making progress; I didn't want to mess things up. We have Flora back now anyway," I whispered, not wanting Flora to get confused.

He didn't respond, and once I had Flora settled in her bedroom with her toys, I went back into the living room to see what was going on with him.

"So, uh, you and Rafe?" JJ asked, rubbing the back of his neck like he always did when he was nervous.

"What do you mean?"

"I saw you guys hugging, are you back together now?" he sounded bitter and I was taken back at what he was asking.

"JJ we were never together, it was just sex. But no, we just decided we'd have to be friends for this arrangement with Flora to work."

"Friends," he mused, nodding his head and walking into the kitchen.

I couldn't believe that he was getting so angry at this; I thought he'd be happy that Rafe was stepping up – he always wanted what was best for Flora and it would be less of a responsibility for him now.

"I just think you're accepting him back into your life quickly, that's all. I don't know if it's the best decision," he continued.

"JJ if you have something to say just say it."

"What happened to 'I hate Rafe', 'Rafe's the bad guy'?" he yelled, turning away from me to grab a beer from the fridge.

"I was being selfish JJ; he deserves to be a part of Flora's life. He's changed."

"Where was he for the last three years of her life? Where was he when you were pregnant with her? Who sat with you when you took the test, crying on the bathroom floor? It was me, Sunny, I did! And you wanna know why I did? It's because I love you. I love you so fucking much and you still choose him.

"He's Flora's dad, J, I have to," I said weakly, not fully processing his words.

"What happened to me being Flora's dad?"

"Of course you are! You know what I meant," I protested.

"Do I?" he said bitterly, slamming the fridge.

"JJ!"

"I'm gonna go home, tell Flora goodnight from me."

I watched after him as he left my house without another word, not knowing how to feel about what he'd said. Was I making the wrong choice? Rafe deserved to be a part of his daughter's life if he wanted to, and I thought I was doing the right thing by letting him.