Sunny Side Up - JJ Maybank

16

JJ hadn't been home since the night he stayed over; not wanting to face his dad and proving to Flora and I that he wouldn't leave us again. He'd even met up with Rafe so they could have a 'man-to-man' talk; and Rafe thanked JJ for stepping up and raising Flora. I was glad they'd made amends because it made the whole 'three-parent' dynamic much easier for us all.

I couldn't ignore the blatant sexual tension between JJ and I'd even told Kie and Sarah what had happened to get their opinions.

"It's simple, Sunny, do you like him or not?"

"Of course I do, Kie, but I have to put Flora first."

"JJ loves her as much as you do, that's obvious – and you know he'd never do anything to hurt you," Sarah said.

"Yeah I guess you're right," I told them.

JJ had been sleeping in my bed recently because he'd been having horrible nightmares about his dad and I knew that if we were dating, it wouldn't be much of a change from our relationship now, which made things slightly less scary for me but I still wanted things to carry on as they were; unlabelled, for as long as possible.

"Can you paint my nails?" JJ asked, watching me paint Flora's with a look of fascination and bewilderment in his ocean eyes.

"Yeah of course! What colour?" I obliged happily, not wanting to make it weird for him.

"What do you think, squirt?" he asked Flora, tapping her little nose as she giggled at him

"Hmm, yellow!"

"We can draw little smiley faces on them!" he added, seeming pleased at Flora's suggestion

"I'll try my best," I promised.

It was hard getting JJ to keep still, he didn't realise he'd have to wait for them to dry and bounced around like an excited puppy, eager for the finished result. He was too impatient for two coats so the colour wasn't very bright, but he was grinning nonetheless.

"What do you think?"

"I love them!"

It put a huge smile on my face see JJ truly happy for the first time in a while; he could be himself around Flora and I and I was glad we provided that stability for him.

The next day when we met up with the other Pogues he kept flaunting his nails to everyone, and I heard John B mutter to Sarah that he wanted his done too. Kiara asked Pope if she could paint his but he refused, blushing – which made me think he secretly wanted it as well. Sure enough, a week later, the three boys were all sporting painted nails.

"Destroying toxic masculinity one nail at a time!" Kiara joked.

John B had invited us all round his garden to enjoy the sunshine and spend some time together as group, so I got Rafe to look after Flora so JJ and I could have some time to ourselves with our friends.

JJ had seemed a little distant this morning but he assured me he was fine so I put it out of my head until I noticed him keep zoning out of the conversation.

I was trying to listen to Kie's rant about her job but my eyes kept wandering to JJ, who looked completely out of it. I knew he wasn't drunk or high but something was clearly playing on his mind.

Sarah asked me a question which snapped me out of my daze, and no-one else seemed to pick up on JJ's emotional absence during the conversation, so I decided to wait until we were alone. My opportunity arose when John B needed something from his house, so I volunteered to get it for him; JJ was already in the bathroom so I decided to corner him on his way out.

"JJ you seem kind of distant, is everything alright?" I asked finally.

"I feel fine," he said bluntly. His eyes were still glossy and his fingers were ripped to shreds where he'd been picking at the skin like he did every time he was nervous.

"You're always going to say you feel fine until one day you don't and by then it will be too late," I said exasperatedly.

"Why is it such a big deal?" he yelled.

"Because you never tell me how you're feeling!"

"Stop trying to control me; it's not like we're dating!"

I saw the hurt in his eyes as he said those words but it was shortly replaced with guilt when he saw the look on my face.

"Sunny!"

"No JJ, I get it. But I was only trying to help."