Crossroads (An Evil Deku Fanfic)

Chapter 9: Trepidation

Katsuki POV:

I've known Deku almost my entire life, yet somehow, I never understood him. It was hard for me to feel empathy, or to put myself in the places of others. And yet... somehow I completely knew how Mrs. Midoriya was feeling when I told her about her son.

"He's what?!" She cried, "A-A villain?! No! Izuku wouldn't... he would never! It's just not like him!"

"I agree," the old hag stated, "Izuku isn't the type to indulge in activities like that. I mean, Izuku burning down a building?! Murdering innocents?! Murdering at all???!!!!"

Mrs. Midoriya wailed and my mom shut up.

"I can't see it either, but it was caught on video!" I argued, "And he's even letting his face be seen! Here," I pulled out my phone to show them, but my dad pushed my hand down.

"I think they believe you, they just don't want to," he whispered.

For once, I wasn't angry. Instead, I felt... weird. My stomach felt like it had turned upside-down, and my hands were cold. My eyebrows were practically glued together in concern and tension, and I felt sick. I knew Deku the best out of everyone in the world, himself aside. And even I was startled and confused as to why he decided to be a villain. But I was mostly concerned. After all, he was a villain now. I'm soon to be a hero. Will we one day be pit against each other in battle?  Will we be... opponents?

4 days later

"Young Bakugo!" All Might bellowed, "You appear to be distracted! What seems to be the issue?"

"Nothing, I'm fine," I grumbled, "Now go away before I blow that dumb grin off your face." I held my shaking hand up, pretending to focus on the hero-training activity: trust exercises.

His large, muscular hand clapped down on my shoulder as he said in a softer voice, "You seem distressed. Has something out of the ordinary happened recently? Are you alright?"

"I'm fucking FINE! LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE!" I lost it. Everyone else turned towards me. "I'm just gonna go to the bathroom." I let out an exasperated sigh and turned to walk back to the building.

"Hey, what about me?" Kirishima called. "I can't do a partner exercise by myself!"

"I'll be back in three minutes! Can't you wait three minutes?" I snapped. I turned and kept skulking away. I shoved my hands in my pockets and sighed. I couldn't stop thinking about Deku. 

When I got to the bathroom, I splashed water on my face. It dribbled down my face and through my hair. It felt refreshing, but I still had a sickening feeling in my stomach. I stared at the mirror for a while. My eyes had dark circles under them and my skin was a ghostly shade of white. When was the last time I really slept? 2 nights ago? 3 nights ago? I wasn't sure.

I heard someone knock on the door, followed by, "Bakugo? It's Kirishima. Are you... are you alright?"

At first, I thought I should just shout I'm fine and go back to the training exercise, but instead, I muttered, "Go away."

"It's a yes or no question,"

"GO AWAY!"

He was silent at first. Then the door opened and he walked in. He hesitantly stood next to me and placed his hands on the edge of the sink. "Bak-"

"Go away, Kirishima!" I cut him off. I shoved him away, too pissed to do anything else. I grabbed his shoulders and practically threw him across the bathroom. He crashed into a trash can and it looked like it hurt. I stomped up to him, grabbed a handful of his shirt, and yanked him up. "Why don't you listen?! I said to go away, for fuck's sake!"

For half a second, a look of fear flashed through his eyes.

My grip loosened on his shirt. There was a silence that hung in the air for a minute, slowly suffocating me. What was I doing? All he was trying to do was help. And to want to help me when I'm clearly in a bad mood takes guts. He's really brave. Or just stupid. Or both.

"Bakugo..." He softly started, "I'm sorry, but you're my friend. If something's wrong and you don't want to talk about it, just say so. If you do, I'm here."

Wait... we're friends? I mean, sure, I always pick him for my partner when I have to, but that's just because he doesn't whine about it. And sure, he invites me to eat lunch with him and his dork friends, but it's not like I actually do it.

He had such a serious look in his eyes. Goddammit. Goddammit. GODDAMMIT. I pushed him back against the trash can and tilted my head down so he couldn't see my face. My throat tightened and my veins rushed with cold blood. My hands... my arms... my entire body started to shiver. Behind my eyes, tears started to form. What the fuck? In a shaking voice, I whispered, "Kirishima... what would you do... if... someone you used to... know... became a... vi...a vil...a v-villain? And... what if... it's... your fault...?" My hand gripped his shirt tightly. Goddammit. Why am I fucking crying?! Why?! And why do I have to look like such a baby in front of Kirishima?!

"...which villain are you talking about?" He asked, a little timid.

Know what? To hell with manliness. I let myself cry. I shuddered and sniffled, and my eyes started to leak. My legs gave out and I crumpled on the tile floor of the bathroom. God knows why I was crying, but I was.

His arms fell around me and he pulled my face close to his chest like it was normal. I kept crying, and he didn't say anything. He just stayed there, which I think I needed.

Eijiro POV:

I am witnessing something rarer than a blue moon. Bakugo is crying. I... am very confused. What do I even do? I did what I thought was best, which was to hug him, but now I am at risk of losing my life. I asked him which villain he was talking about and he started crying. I have a bad feeling that was the wrong question.

"Hey, it's okay," I soothed, trying to stroke his hair but it popped back up as soon as my hand brushed over it. I tried not to laugh. "It's okay..."

His crying went on for a while until he finally stopped long enough to speak. "What?" He sniffled, "No remark about how... how unmanly this is?" He was still shivering and shaking, trying not to burst out sobbing again.

I paused. What do I even say to that?  "It's... alright. This time, it's alright." If I'm completely candid, I uphold a manly disposition because I want to be seen as manly. I won't mention someone else's lack of it, I'll only mention it if they display manliness.

"...Deku..." He whispered, almost raspily.

"Huh?"

"Deku..." He said again, "You asked which villain. It's... Deku."

Deku? I'd heard about him on the news. He's one of the most dangerous rising villains in the country, and people still don't know anything about him. I heard that he's killed 20 pro heroes already, and he's murdered over 300 innocent civilians.

"Deku?!" I exclaimed, "You know him?!"

"Knew him." He snarled, glaring at me, "And in case you were wondering, we weren't friends." He rubbed his tears onto his wrist and took a deep breath, "Also, if you utter so much as one word about this to anyone, you'll be cremated."

"Like, after I die?"

"While you die."

"Oh."

"So if anyone asks, nothing happened." His already narrow eyes narrowed as he hissed, "Nothing." 

He stood up, gave me one final glare, and strode past me towards the door. The door creaked open and slammed shut and I was left a little bit stunned. I was still sitting on the floor of the bathroom against the trash can, my shirt stained with his tears.

There was still so much I didn't know about what had just happened, but what I did know was that Bakugo knew Deku. He knew him enough that he'd cry in the regret of influencing him. Still... I'm sure the two of them have much more history. 

And most of it hasn't happened yet.