Tender (A britpop era fiction)

Who Are You

"I should've walked out. It was a dodgy situation. Sure I liked them. But besides Graham, I still barely knew them. All of us were out of our minds. And I didn't feel too comfortable sitting there, watching the situation going more and more out of hand."

I remember the fuss after Lisas and my kiss. The way the boys looked at us from the side. How Alex elegantly placed himself next to me, leering with sparkling eyes. The last few rounds of the game were basically the boys just snogging each other and before they could turn their attention to the completely drunken Lisa or me again, I got her out of there, took her into my own hotel room and put her in bed, leaving a note that she could leave whenever she wanted and that she should feel free to call room service. Was on Blurs bill, after all. 

And then I returned to the party. I don't know why. 

"Why didn't you? Leave, I mean?"

"Fuck knows. Not wanting to spoil it? Not wanting to be the weak one, wanting to be the cool girl?"

"I should've. It's surely what I teach my girls. If you feel uncomfortable in a situation, leave. Don't try to please anyone, don't try to be the cool one that is up for everything. Speak your mind. And walk out."

I return to my story.

"We didn't get into bed that night. We danced until the morning light."

I surely remember dancing with Alex, who came closer and closer, his arms around my waist and soon his chin on my head, holding me close and whispering sweet, silly nonsense in my ears, charming and almost irresistible as always. Until Graham took me by the hand and forced me into an improvised YMCA dance with him and Dave. And then I managed to keep Alex at arms length. He was too coked out of his mind and I know, would I've kept drinking and would I've snorted another line or two, I probably would've landed in his bed that night.

"It was eight o'clock in the morning when Ivan knocked at the door, calling us for breakfast and the party came to an end. I wasn't really hungry so I decided to call a friend instead."

"Hello?" Meg sounds very much awake given the time of the day.

"Hey, it's me."

"Claire darling, how are you?" Meg asks excited. "You're lucky, I just came through the door."

"How's London swingin'?"

"I was at a great party in Primrose Hill, oh I can tell you, that's a place you want to live one day. I'd love to have a house there, it's beautiful."

Of course she'd want to live in a posh area like that. 

"How are you doing? Everything alright between you and the band?"

"Why? What'd you hear?" I don't know how she does it, but Meg always seems to know everything. 

"Nothing, just asking. Is there something I should've heard?"

Damn it.

"No, but something you could've." I take a deep breath. "You, eh...you knew Lisa Moorish?"

"Of course, love her. She's a friend. Why?"

"She's also here."

"Right, I forgot. She told me the other day." Meg laughs quietly. "She's nuts right. But a heart of gold."

"Yeah. Whatever." I don't want to talk about that after I've seen her kissing Damon during the game tonight. They were far too invested with each other for my taste. Especially given the circumstance...