As a new Netflix documentary about the Britpop era is filmed, of course they have to interview the person who has witnessed it all. Being the sister of the most infamous brothers of the era and the love interest of their biggest rival must have been...
The facades of London fly passed the train window and as I look at it, my mind is far away, swinging back and forth between the past memories in Manchester and the future worries back in London. I think about my brothers, about my mam. My thoughts wander from Damon and our life together to our children and especially to Dylan. Her dad called me when I just boarded the train and though his voice was as calm as ever, I could clearly hear the worry. I told him to come over tonight when Dave's coming to discuss what we are going to do about the situation.
In my lap rests the photograph my brother gave me when we said goodbye at his door step. He hugged me and suddenly his face brightened up and he rushed into the living room, coming back with a picture in his hands.
"I found that in one of the boxes yesterday. Thought ya would like it."
"I remember that." I can't help but smile as I hold the picture. It was back at a festival in Italy in summer 1996 where Blur was headlining. It was a great show and an even better audience and watching the boys entangled in their element, seeing Damon getting lost in the music, witnessing the grip his sheer presence had over the thousands of people in front of him, I couldn't help but to admire him even more for the person that he was. His energy, his raw passion for what he was doing - I remember a soft tickle running through my hands, wanting to reach out to him, wanting to hold him close to me, as close as I could.
After the show we joined the other on the wide green field to enjoy the end of the festival and wait for the fireworks. Paul was there because I convinced him to go on the European tour with Blur and me, much to the dislike of Noel and Liam. He was playing around with his camera, taking pictures of everyone and everything. That's how this photograph came about.
Damon has wrapped his arms around me from behind, his chin on my shoulder and the both of us laugh beamingly as the fireworks explode on the dark night sky behind us. I will never forget that night. It was the night I told him that I loved him.
After knowing it for months but never finding the courage to tell him, out of fear to make myself vulnerable, it came easy over my lips this night. It was the easiest thing in the world. It was the start of the most wonderful summer of my life, a real summer of love and joy. In fall the media frenzy around Damon and me would slowly start to get the better of us, but in those weeks, fall never seemed to come. God, we were so happy back then.
"It's yours" Paul said as he noticed my expression. "I've prepared it for you."
"Thanks" I said and kissed his cheek. "Promise you'll visit us soon. The kids would love it."
With a heavy heart I got into the cab and my mood hasn't really brightened up all the way back to London. As I leave the train station and walk to a cab, I tell the driver the address of Meg Matthews. I lean back, still heavily entangled in my thoughts. I called Meg and asked her to meet up because I need to know if she has an idea what happened at Stellas after party between Dylan and Zayn Malik. If anyone knows, it's her. She's still the queen of gossip in Primrose Hill.
I pull another picture out of my jacket. Paul told me to give it to Meg with his greetings.
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