SEEKING FOR YOU. wsn ✓

NOTE

hello dear readers! i... have zero idea what i'm doing now. BUT! i re-read 'seeking for you' and read ALL of your comments. thank you so much for such wonderful comments that made me smile and think about how i portrayed characters in this book! in this note, i will be further explaining how i wish this book and the characters to be interpreted. yes, it's probably long overdue considering how i finished writing this book near 6 months ago. wow. 

before we proceed, i just want to thank ALL OF YOU for 29.3k!! oh my gosh, i never imagined this book would get so, so, so much attention. it always manages to bring a big smile on my face whenever i see the views and new comments/votes. thank you so much for loving this book <3.

(ps literally i started writing this yesterday and yesterday it was at 29.2k and today it's at 29.3k wow 😭😭😭 thank you so much for loving this crappy and shitty book)

anyways, here we go. side note, i will be using bold to highlight the words i want to emphasis!

JUNG WOOYOUNG:

1. his stubbornness to never listen to san and 'running away'

i know how much all of you hate wooyoung 😂. in case you forgot, wooyoung was abused as a child by his father and is scared of san and his aggression because of this. yeah, i can see why you're frustrated. now, listen. yes, wooyoung should've stayed and listen to san or at least try to listen to san's explanation when he punched those boys. but try and put yourself in wooyoung's shoes. would you really want to listen to someone explaining why they performed aggression when you've been abused yourself as a kid? not the most ideal situation, is it. 

in the end of both part one and two, i made wooyoung run away from san because of his aggression. a lot of you said it was just foolish of him to do so without first listening to san. but san's aggression isn't just aggression to him, it's almost like reminding wooyoung of his dad. and that hurts. i, myself, never experienced abuse before but i am sure that it takes a long, long time to get over those childhood traumas and shadows that loom over you for the rest of your life. for wooyoung, he simply was not ready to face san and his aggression yet. i don't know much about traumas and abuse, but i assume it takes a long time for someone to overcome it. 

and by wooyoung's character, i am just trying to say it takes time for wounds to heal, psychological wounds probably being the longest to heal. wooyoung is still traumatised by the child abuse he received and so running away from san, from his problems, seemed like the most reasonable thing for him to do. while it most certainly is not, it is for him who has not overcome his trauma yet.

you can always take this in a different way where wooyoung is just a coward. you can always just think that. i can't stop how you think. but the above explanation was how i intended wooyoung's character to be perceived.

2. his selective mutism in part one

selective mutism  is a severe anxiety disorder where a person is unable to speak in certain social situations (NHS UK definition). while some of you may argue that talking to san or any other of his classmates is not a social situation, it most certainly is. those with selective mutism does not get to choose who or when they don't want to talk, it's just a feeling. if they feel anxious around that person whether that be because they just met them or are scared of them, they just can't speak.