Honey Rain

Chapter Twenty-One

Niall had stayed the night with me. He assured me that it was his choice, but I know he felt obligated to. He left early in the morning so that he could go home and get his things before school, leaving me with a half hour of silence, which meant a half hour of thinking about Harry.

I missed him. Not in the sense that I hadn't seen him in hours; it wasn't that kind of desire. I missed the Harry that cried when he realized I hurt myself. The Harry that promised he would protect me for the rest of my life and would sooner find a way to drain the ocean than hurt me intentionally. Maybe I was wrong to believe that protection included not bullying me to avoid being outed.

I couldn't help myself when I slipped his football jacket on, the sleeves falling just to the ends of my fingertips. It smelled familiar, comforting and sweet. I took it off before I left.

Harry had a pitiful look of hurt in his eyes as he gazed longingly at me from across the hall, and I couldn't tell if I was imagining the wetness over his eyes or not. The hallway was incredibly crowded, obstructing my view of him. Good. I wouldn't be able to keep myself together if I looked at him for another second.

I slipped my phone out of my pocket at the feeling of it vibrating.

From Harry: Baby please talk to me.

I forced myself not to make eye contact with him and angrily shot back.

To Harry: If you want to talk then come over here and do it yourself

Not caring and already knowing what he was going to say, I shoved my phone deep into my backpack so that I wouldn't be tempted to text him again.

Just as I thought, he didn't walk over to me. Didn't even make an effort to come closer. I slammed my locker perhaps a bit too aggressively and averted my gaze as I stormed off.

I tried to slip out after school without anyone noticing, but Harry was hot on my heels following me through the parking lot to my car.

"Louis."

I ignored him.

"Louis, I'm sorry, okay? Haven't I told you that a thousand times? Just talk to me."

I whipped around so fast that Harry jumped back.

"What are you sorry for? You- you think you can just keep apologizing and expecting me to forgive you but then you don't even try to change anything!"

"I'm doing my best, Louis. I'm trying."

I shook my head, too heated in my own anger to notice how cold the snow and ice was beneath the soles of my shoes. "Is that really your best?" There were a couple people watching us and I really couldn't care less. "You're risking losing your boyfriend over losing your reputation!"

"W- what? Lose you? Are you saying you're gonna break up with me over this?"

"I'm not breaking up with you! God, Harry, you're so infuriating! Why do you think you can just treat me like your doll and then throw me away when it becomes a problem? Why are you acting like I don't mean anything to you?"

He grit his teeth. "Don't say that! I don't know what you want from me, Lou. Cut me some slack here."

"Oh, I think I give you enough slack already, don't you think? Hmm? I didn't say anything after what happened yesterday! I put up with everything you throw at me and you aren't even making an effort to meet my needs!"

"Then tell me! Tell me what you want, Louis, and I'll do better, I promise!"

"You have to stop making promises if you won't keep them! I can't take it anymore!"