ephialtes [DREAM SMP ONESHOTS :]

16. "I was little, I was weak, I was perfect, too." (WILBUR SONGFIC)

Long AN but pls read for context

BRO SO I LOVE THE FACT THAT ALIVEBUR WAS INSPIRED BY THE SONG EIGHT -

I've been like full on obsessing over the enneagram recently,, I'm a type eight and I fucking love this song so much,, I relate soooo much. If you're interested in this shit, are a type 8 or are friends with a type 8, I'd recommend listening to Sleeping At Last's podcast on the making of this song and the type 8 because I know it was an eye opener for me and makes Wilbur's and most eight's motives easier to grasp. 

A lot of the stuff I mention, like testing relationships and such is explained really well in the podcast because of the way 8's are always expecting to be betrayed. Or, leave a comment and I will happily explain in great lengths.

Or even find the song for your type and give the podcast a listen because it is worth it.

I meant to release a Techno drabble before this but goddamn I wanted to write this. You better fucking listen to the song >:(

Wilbur stood in front of the button looking over L'manberg, feeling the gentle breeze from the mouth of the cave whipping his hair around his eyes. 

He remembered back before all this, when everything had been better. When he'd been ok, back in his Presidency. He remembered standing over his beautiful country, looking over it from the top of the wall. 

Back when L'manberg had been a place of peace and sanctuary, and it had all been ok. 

He was just Wilbur, then new aspiring leader who gave his people a place of freedom.

I remember the minute
It was like a switch was flipped

Then of course, he'd been there. He'd stood down under the podium, watching Schlatt walk up. 

His old friend, who had betrayed him, and taken up his own leadership instead of just helping Wilbur.

It had been ok. 

Then Wilbur was thrown out, and banished.

His old friend, who he'd welcomed back into his life, given an opportunity to help him, just tore it all away like it was nothing and discarded him, throwing him to the side like they'd never met.

I was just a kid who grew up strong enough
To pick this armor up
And suddenly it fit

He shut down. He tossed his emotions aside. 

Fuck Schlatt, fuck that whole goddamn country. 

He didn't need them. He didn't need to win. 

He closed off the paths that made him weak and kept his emotions at a superficial level. 

Kept his relationships hollow. They were fun, and useful. But meaningful? Not so much.

God, that was so long ago, long ago, long ago
I was little, I was weak and perfectly naive
And I grew up too quick

He scoffed now, looking back on it, the way he'd been so happy and optimistic, sure it would all work out.

When he thought of the way he'd acted around everyone, always laughing and happy and open. 

Open, woundable, vunerable.