water droplets //dnf//

ch10: with you through anything

~George POV

I wake up to darkness as I move around on the uncomfy couch. It feels cold. Dream wasn't there.

I check his phone which was laying on the side table..

"4 am?".. I said quietly.

Dream shouldn't be up this early. I wanna go back to bed but my nerves build up the more I realize what could've happened. I let a man with depression wander off in the middle of the night?

I check the kitchen.. no
The hallway.. no
His room.. no
My room.. no

TW: PANIC ATTACK

Finally I open the bathroom door. And there he is, whimpering on the floor, distress fulling the room.

"dream? DREAM?"

I drop the floor and check his pulse, he's still breathing.. still breathing. His eyes were completely shut and he was in the fetal position. I tried to grab his hand but he just gasped and started shaking.

what do i do. what do i do

"dream are you okay? i can call an ambulance.. yeah.. let me grab the phone"

I was about to run to Dreams phone when I remember what he had said once in a VC.

"apply pressure. hug me tightly, lay on top of me, whatever *chuckle*, it just helps me calm down when i freak out"

I hesitantly lay behind him, I wrap my arms around him and squeeze as tight as I could. He kept trying to pull away but I kept the pressure because I needed to keep him safe. Soon enough he started to breathe more normal, still inconsistent.. but better.

As I sighed from relief I heard faint cries coming from his direction.. I so wish I could just take away all of his pain, his bad thoughts
and painful feelings.

*start song*

"oh clay.. i'm here. i'm right here.", I start to sing something, but soft enough that it only hit dreams ear.

"up with your turret
aren't we just terrified"

As I continue the song, I hear his heartbeat become steady. I release some of the pressure since he's calmed down. I take my left hand and stroke his hair, wanting to do everything I can to make him safe.

"don't let it fool you
don't let it fool you, down.
dancing around, folds in the ground"

I feel his body release all of the tension, his shoulders dropped, and his head slowly rested on the floor. He was asleep.

I could feel a tear dropping from my eye. Something about this moment hurt, I know Dream hurt worse than me but this was hard, not being able to help him... I keep singing

"wings wouldn't help you
wings wouldn't help you, down.
down fills the ground, gravity's proud"

I lay there, tears filling my eyes but not for me. For Dream. His pain is not deserved. But he doesn't even know, I go through the same thing, I feel for him.

*TW: OVER*

The rest of the night I just stay beside Dream. Checking his pulse every now and then. When I see light creep in the bathroom window I yawn.

It didn't seem like I was there that long.

~Dream POV

I wake up wrapped in George's arms on the bathroom floor. I remember everything that happened all too vividly. I could feel myself about to tear up but wiped my eyes quickly.

I turn around to face George.. he looks tired. He didn't sleep because of me.

I quickly grab his waist and embrace him. His arms make there way around my neck and he hugs me back. We both just lay there together, the embrace saying everything we needed to say. No words needed.

When I feel George release from the hug I sigh. I hate talking and confrontation and I just know he's going to ask a lot of questions.

"did i do the right thing?"

He didn't ask what it was.. He's more worried about whether or not he helped. No one ever says that, they always just ask what it is.

"georgie.. you did it perfectly."

I see him lean in and I close my eyes as he softly kisses my forehead. I didn't want the feeling of his warm lips on my skin to end, but he pulled away. He's always pulling away. If only he knew how I felt. But it's good he doesn't. He shouldn't. What I'm feeling is wrong.

I can feel my breathing get faster..

"dream? hey.. dream?"

I focus back and my breath steadies when I see him, even just looking at him calms me down. We both sit up and lean against a wall, facing each other.

"sorry. georgie i feel bad you had to see that last night. i shouldn't of done that to you."

"dream are you crazy. no matter what, i'm with you through anything. anything.", he said sternly.

It felt wrong just leaving him to his thought about what happened, he deserved clarification.

"...it was a panic attack."

"how can i help when they happen?"

The fact that he even wants to help makes me feel so much better.

"well you clearly helped me last night.. i can't believe you remembered the stuff about pressure."

"yeah of course, i would do anything to help you."

"thanks.."

"dream.. may i ask what the panic attack was about. don't feel pressured to tell me i just, wanna help in any way possible"

"can we maybe talk about it later?"

"yes of course. always"

I so wanted to tell him everything. How I might be in love with him. How I freak everytime he talks. How I gets butterflies anytime he holds my hand. How I hate myself for feeling that way... But I just keep talking.

"sometimes i also just need to be talked to. like ask me 5 things i see, 4 things i hear.. and stuff like that. i can tell you some more of the coping stuff later"

"i would love that clay..", he smiled and stood up. Before I knew it he offered me a hand and helped me up. I continued holding his hand as we walked out of the bathroom.

We walk to my room and both get into the bed. George and I get under the covers and cuddle next to eachother. This is the routine now. George hands lays on my chest, I could tell it's to keep check of my heartbeat. He shouldn't have to be scared of falling asleep because of me.

I run my hand through his hair to try and calm him down. Once again were asleep.

⚠️: this is written about one of my personal experiences, having panic attacks so i hope i was able to portray my experience well enough

⚠️: i love you all so much, take care of yourself:]