My Not So Secret Diary!

A rant and cousins

So I went on a trip with my parents and my two cousins plus their parents. The younger one who is 7 we'll call Phoebe. The older one is 12 years old. She is 6 months younger than me though. We'll call her Ariadne.

So on the drive there I was talking about genders and sexualities with my parents. I was trying to explain a bunch of the ones I know. I haven't come out to them yet so I had to be really careful what I said so I didn't accidentally out myself.

My mom was tying hard to understand but my dad kept interrupting. He was saying things like "Why does there need to be so many gender identities?" or "There are only four biological genders so why do you have to create more?"

But what made me the most mad was when he said this. "People are only changing there gender for attention! People have been doing that forever and it annoys me that in the 20th century they're still doing it. Just pick male, female, or trans and be done! It doesn't have to be over complicated." Lets just say I almost punched him.

After he said that I tried to explain to him how there are many more genders than male, female, and trans. I also told him that he should never say what he had just said to anyone else. Like never ever.

I also tried to tell him that people aren't doing it for attention. They're doing it to be who they are and present themselves to the world as they're true self! He said "that's a bunch of bull crap" and "why else would anyone do that unless for attention". He also said that they/them pronouns are not grammatically correct.

I've never thought of my dad as a homophobic person. He isn't one. He's always said love is love and you can love whoever you want and that's awesome. But now that I think about it I think he's genderphobic.

So back to my cousins. We were sitting in the room we shared. Ariadne was on her phone and me and Phoebe were talking about our future weddings.

I haven't come out to either of them so I didn't say that I might marry a girl or someone of a different gender. I said that I was going to marry a boy, which is possibly true but only time will tell.

So all of a sudden Phoebe stood up and put her hands on her hips proudly. She turned to face me and said, "Well I want to marry a girl when I grow up!"

It made my heart so happy to hear her say that. The funny thing is is that she doesn't know what gay is so that made it even more adorable.

Also Ariadne is not a touchy feely type of person unlike me who gives hugs to everyone. Since we were little kids I would use her as my own personal pillow. So I would sit on her or lie on her and stuff like that. The weird thing is is that she doesn't mind. If anyone else did that she would yell at them and shove them away.

Same with sharing her emotions. She tells me everything. She blocks out everyone else besides me and her best friend who we will call Althea.

Thanks for reading my rant and the stuff about my cousins! If you know what I should do about my dad please dm me or put it in the comments. I'm here for anyone that needs help or advice. Dm me if you need someone to talk to. I'll try my best to help in any way I can! :)