So a lot has happened today. But first look at the picture above. What does it mean to you? Think about that while you read on...So my conference went good until my teacher exposed me. She thankfully didn't tell my parents that I haven't been doing and turning in my work, she did tell them I never have my video on. Which made my mom freak out cause she thought I had my video on in class all the time!So she was mad but dad came to the rescue! Yay dad! My mom, my dad, and I ended up getting into this big conversation about how my mom expects too much of me and that the reason I don't tell her when I make mistakes or mess up is because I'm scared of her reaction.She gets in this "mood" where the way she talks to me degrades me and makes me feel like poo poo. I know she doesn't mean to but it's played a big part in my depression. We decided to help each other get better together. The experience was terrifying but I only ended up closer to my mother than before :) So I guess I have to wait until I turn 14 to get an online counselor. The online counselors are available 24/7 for you to text and you can set up zoom call sessions for any days of the week. But you have to be 14. 14! WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!?????????? I'M NOT GOING TO BE 14 FOR LIKE HALF A YEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT DO I DO?!!! HELP MEHHHHH!!!!
I also took a huge risk by telling my closest friends that I have depression...
I also texted Evadne and told her I had depression...
at 10:40 pm...
while she was sleeping...
it's 10:59 right now...
AHHHHH WHAT DO I DO WHEN SHE SEE'S THE MESSAGE?!!! SHE'LL THINK I'M A FREAK AND LIKE ALL SAD AND STUFF ALL THE TIME!!! WHICH I'M NOT! I CAN BE HAPPY BUT AT THE SAME TIME I'M NOT, YK?! PLS HELP MEH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'M SO STUPID!!!!!!!!!!!
Question: Now think back to the photo at the top. What does it mean to you?
To me it means breaking out of a cage and being free once again. For me this means breaking away from my depression. I can't wait for the day that happens :')
Question 12 of the LGBTQ+ comment challenge: Dream Job?
My answer: My dream job is to be an actress on Broadway, be a singer songwriter/guitarist, write a musical, be in a Netflix series, be in a movie, and work as a therapist if I have to. I have lots and lots of big dreams lol :)
YOU ARE READING
My Not So Secret Diary!
RandomMe just talking about my life, favorite fandoms, queer stuff, things going in the world, and other random stuff!