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Sorry Iwa (part 2)

cat-kenma u asked, now u shall receive

Iwa sat on the pristine white steps that lead inside the Oikawa household. The flashing lights of the police cars and the sigular ambulance, that had already taken its leave, attracted neighbouring people. Iwa sat quietly, his head was in his hands trying his best not to break down. Memories from his childhood flooded his head. He smiled softly as he remembered everything they did sitting on those very steps. They talked nonsense, Iwa placed band-aids on Oikawa's knees or really any other place that kid had scraped. Somehow he never failed to gain one or two scrapes more. It was a daily thing for them. Listening to Oikawa go on about aliens never got old. Or when they had just started middle school and Iwa had to sit through and listen to Oikawa complain about school and not being able to share every class with Iwa-Chan. He also remembered bumping and setting the ball back and forth in the front yard, and the countless times he chased Oikawa around with beatles. He chuckled as Oikawa's purely terrified face became clearer in his mind. His soft smile he wore soon faded though. Instead his lips curved in different directions, he bit his tongue, squeezed his eyes shut attempting to calm his emotions. Why? What the only question bouncing in his mind.
Why'd it come to this?
Why didn't he come to me?
Why not seek help?
Why'd it have to be him?
Why wasn't I there for him?
Why was I such an idiot to not see the signs?
Why couldn't I stop it?
Why leave me?
Why was I not enough for him?
Why are you gone?
Why does it hurt so bad?
Why couldn't he hold on?
Why was I such a bad friend?
Why is life this cruel?
Why now?
Why ever?
Just....
why...?
Iwa placed his head back on his intertwined hands. He finally let his emotions front. As tear after tear slid down his tan cheeks, he found himself lost. He felt numb. It hurt to much to actually feel. Iwa choked on his tears. He felt a hand glide softly across his back and then arm around him. He recognized this a Hanamaki. Iwa pulled his own arms around the other, he knew he wasn't the only on hurting. He looked up from the ground resting his head on Makki's shoulder. His eyes met with Matsukawa's, who were dull and without shine. Just like his own. He flashed a small smile towards the taller male before rubbing his hand on Hanimaki's back, an attempt in calming his cries. Matsukawa walked, taking a seat beside the two other males. He was the only out of the three who hadn't shed a tear. But, it was clear to Iwa, he wanted to break down, to cry out, scream to the wind even. But, he felt he needed to be strong, for his two friends. He had to reassure them it'll be fine, that life would go on, that they wouldn't be in pain forever. Only then would he tend to his own wounds. Iwa reached out, grabbing on to Mattsun's sweater sleeve. He pulled softly, motioning for the taller to join. Mattsu smiled and wrapped his arms around his two friends. He whispered reassurances to both boys and made them feel warm.
"Thank you Matsukawa"
Iwa sighed. How long would it take for them to get back to normal? Or would they ever get back to that so called normal? He knew things wouldn't ever be the same, he'd have no one to throw volleyballs at, to yell at. He'd be the captain for their team now. Who would he spend the long nights with. Who would pester him until the point of no return.
Who
Would
Love
Him?
Iwa felt he would be watching a lot of Alien documentaries in the near future.

Hope this is alright for a part two.
Also wanted to say, if there is anyone who reads my book and feels unworthy or you're having thoughts of taking your life, please don't. I know I don't know you and you don't know me but, I've seen what it does to people how it tears them apart and makes them feel like they messed up or weren't good enough. You as a person are amazing, talented, beautiful and so much more. Even if you don't think so yourself I do. There's always a reason to live and taking it isn't a solution to a temporary problem With that being said if you're ever feeling down or anything come talk to me. I'm not as active as I should be on here but you can always shoot me a dm on Insta, my Instagram is linked is in my bio if ever needed. Don't be afraid to say hi or just spill if you need to talk to someone. I love helping people out and if it saves a life I'm glad to do it.
Eggrollinabowl♡