Our Souls Collided I ✔️

thirty - three

                                                        ~ SONG: FIRE ON FIRE BY: SAM SMITH ~

What the fuck is Wattpad?

What?!

I log in and make a Wattpad account, looking around and I'm very confused and I don't know why.

Realizing I have to get out of my car and walk into lucifer's office, I sigh turning off my phone and getting out of the car, taking a long walk into the elevator and down his hall.

"Good mor-"

"Almost twenty! People killed last night, many deaths have been going on, and we still cannot find any evidence of who did it. There have been multiple people in this incident, involving drug selling and illegal-"

"hi..." I see lucifer look up to me.

I hear the news talking about someone killing a lot of people.

"did you do that?" I ask pointing to the paused tv.

He drops his head into his hands, leaning back into the couch as I realize.

Oh my god!

I can't keep doing this, I cant keep hanging out with someone who does things like this.

Were they innocent? Did they deserve it? Why would he kill people?

"Most of it wasn't me, i swear it. It was part of my job.." He starts.

I stand there, still completely stunned.

Job? Mafia boss? No that was Adrian.

"Say something please..." he walks up to me, grabbing my arm as I move out of the way.

I didn't think he would hurt me I just don't know what to think.

I see his soul shatter behind his eyes, as he stays silent. Walking away from me I don't turn around to see where he went but after flinching from hearing a loud grunt and lots of things falling, I turn around to see him standing looking at his now broken bookshelf, all of his books spread out onto the floor.

"Lucifer!" I raise my voice as he looks back at me.

What is happening!?

He's so far away from me right now but seems so close to me.

"well, if you just let people get to know you, or open up with people it wouldn't have to be that way!" I explain.

"I just can't! It's fucking hard!" he yells back.

"Well, you can't bottle your feelings up, I can see it's killing you lucifer and you're taking other people down with you and it's not okay!"

"You want to get to know me so badly Josephine? right? well if you would like to know so badly I had my childhood ripped away from me. I wanted to learn how to drive and got into a car accident and got into a crash, that crashed the side my parents were on." He starts, I almost felt tears coming to my eyes. Hearing him rant to me.

"I went to school, I got teased for it. They wouldn't let it go, blaming it on me. I mean they weren't wrong, and id blame myself everyday for not having my parents on this earth being able to hug them for comfort." He looks down.

"I moved from Italy to here, and met Adrian at a bar the night I came here, That brought me to this fucked up life of mine."

Keeping my eyes on the floor as I see a tear fall onto the floor from my eyes, why did you have to ask Josephine!

I hear his footsteps as he sucks in a breath before walking out of his own office, leaving me alone.

What is happening to me? To us?

Why did that happen to him?

At this point, I'm not even sure if I regret asking or if I'm proud to know that now.

But now I'm too deep into this whatever type of relationship we have to leave.

Looking back up from the floor, I rub my eyes and rush down to the hallway of the elevator and see lucifer still there waiting for it to open.

"Lucifer!" I call out.

"Leave it, ill finish the library forms by myself you can go." He doesn't look at me.

"You just told me that and now you're pushing me away!?" I ask him.

"I'm not good with this! I don't know how to open up I just fucking yelled my lungs out to you when we could have just had a nice conversation about it like normal people but no I don't know how to do that."

"But we're not normal people Lucifer, it's you and I, not anyone else."

"What is the "you and I" there can't be a "you and I" that's what I'm trying to tell you, but you don't understand!"

"I don't want to understand this lucifer! I've seen from the first day I walked into your office alone to work with you how different you were from others; how broken you were but I didn't know why! Why you locked yourself up all the time."

"I can't be with you Josephine, you deserve someone easier to talk to, easier to be with than me, I will break you."

"It's not your choice to decide what's best for me! you can't do that."

He shakes his head.

"So, all of this was for nothing, me telling you personal things at night, our time together, the kisses the... me giving myself to you..." I look down not wanting to meet his gaze after the last part.

"It was always just for nothing." I hear before the elevator finally opens as he walks into it, I look up to him and before seeing the elevator doors close us apart I see his eyes change.

Not hurt, not happy, not nervous, not scared, not loving.

Emotionless.

Why?

His emotionless eye's met mine before I'm standing Infront of a closed elevator door.

He's right, love shouldn't be this hard.

And I've felt in love with someone, that doesn't believe they should be loved.

I've fallen in love with someone who just proved they feel nothing for me.

I'm not giving up now, I don't want to.