Our Souls Collided I ✔️

fifty

SONG: US BY JAMES BAY

I sit against my front door, my back facing it as I look out at my wrecked living room  Infront of me.

I hear the muffled sobs from the other side of the door, as I lean my head back.

I didn't want to do this to her, to myself.

"lucifer" I hear her soft voice for the first time in weeks.

My heart almost cracks again at the sound of her broken voice.

I wipe my cheeks with my black sweatshirt and get up and start to walk to my kitchen before stopping. And turn around and walk back to the door.

My hands quietly find there was to the knob and twist it open, seeing Josephine with her head in her knees, her back facing me as she sits on the step to get to my door.

I walk over and carefully take the seat next to me, her head gently looks to the side and I'm met with her tear-stained cheeks, as she's met with mine.

"hi..." she mumbles before looking up at me.

"Josephine." I greet her.

I watch as her head flies back down into her knees as she covers her mouth to stop the noise of her sobs.

I go to take her arms away from her, for her to let it out but her head flies up.

"don't touch me. You bailed on me." I'm now met with her angry eyes as I look down the ground.

"I didn't m-"

"you left lucifer, you wouldn't speak to me, talk to me, see me, check up on me." a tear rolls down her cheek.

"I know." I look away from her.

"you know?" she almost laughs.

"you don't know what it's like," I mumble, almost not hearing it myself.

"I don't know what it's like?! Do you know what I've been doing these past weeks?" She raises her voice, not caring about her broken voice.

"I've been learning how to walk again, breath again, feel like myself again." Her voice cracks.

"I've tried for you." I look over at her, "I tried to be good for you, to be happy and comfortable, but it came back and kicked me down, bringing you down with me!"

She just meets my eyes as I look into hers.

"You made me feel something, something I haven't felt before. Like I wasn't empty inside." I tell her.

"We lost a child." She mumbles as she looks away from me.

I stay quiet, not sure what to say because I don't want to upset her more, If the accident hadn't happened and we found out she was pregnant we could have worked it out and raised a child together.  

I heard, miscarriages happen often that early, but Josephine wouldn't have lost it if I wouldn't have turned my car.

I didn't want a kid, maybe I would someday but not now.

It was my fault I turned, and she got hit that badly.

"Why did you leave?" she asks.

"I needed to give you space, away from me."

"I didn't want space, I wanted to see you."

I look over at her as a small smile reaches my lips, "you know what? You were the only person in this world that I cared what you thought about me, the only person I truly cared about, and I hadn't loved myself in years, loved anyone in years." I look down before, my breathing hitches as I try to think of how to say this.

"fino a quando non ti ho incontrato"

"Lucifer" she mumbles.

I pause for a minute and look away from her, looking out at the gates that had been locked for weeks, seeing her walk Infront of me and grab my hand, pulling me up with her.

She wraps her hands around me and I sink into the hug, putting my head down on her shoulder.

Those words.

The real words.

I open my mouth, but nothing comes out. I wanted to tell her, I needed her, and I shouldn't have left her, that she would be okay.

But the words couldn't come out of my mouth.

She pulls away and her cheeks are dry, she looks down and back up to me, I can see the smile she forces me to see.

"have a... good day." She meets my eyes, and I can see the pain behind her grey eyes before I watch her walk away from me.

"you don't want to work this out!?" I ask.

She shakes her head before turning around, "you're not giving me a reason to stay."

I let out a breath as I watch her stand there, trying to keep herself together.

I wish it would have been easier to tell her how much she meant to me.

I thought this stuff would be easy.

But it wasn't for me.

For us.

I made it hard for us.

She turns around and walks back to her car before I find the courage.

"I love you!" I yell making her stop in her tracks, but not turning around again.

I feared this, the silence I was getting, the fear of falling too fast. The fear of falling in love.

She turns around and I can see her cheeks stained by tears and mascara now.

"you don't mean that."

My nightmares came true.

"I mean it, that I've fallen in love with you, and it was something I was always afraid of, but you were the only person in my life to get what I was going through or understand me without leaving or giving up on me." I shake my head.

"I was there for you, you pushed me away, but I stayed."

"you're saving me," I mumble out.

"what?" she asks, as she starts to walk a bit closer to me.

"you're saving my life, Josephine."

She pulls me in for another hug, but I cherish this one instead of worrying.

"I love you too." She mumbles into the hug.

"I missed you so much."

my loves.

i just realized that whenever i write books i make the male say it first, ima need to work on that :/

after 50 chapter's they're inlove!! yay!!!