no matter how much color i add
to my walls, wardrobe, and bed
everything is so dull
my life is so fucking dull
i want to smile and feel my face sting
i want to laugh and keep laughing
i want to feel warm from happiness
i want to feel something other than this
i've grown to love the color grey
all of its shades and names
if i was a color
that's what i'd be
he added color
so why is it fading
is it me or him
and how do i fix it
i can't remember how water feels on my skin
the thought of washing myself is almost terrifying
that's pathetic
i'm pathetic
