if i was your cage
then my doors were horribly locked
because every time someone said they loved you
you'd hope out and fly away
sure it wasn't my place to say
that your relationships would fail
even if they did in the future
but hell i was just being honest
even if i was being a dick
even if you actually hated me
even if i hurt you
even if i was a toxic person
why would you date someone like him
someone you know cheated
you know abused
you know manipulated
there's only so much i could've lied about
you saw the voicemails
you saw my fear
you saw me cry over it
i'm not a good actor
and i hate lying
but you won't believe that
i can't make you do that
i didn't mean to hurt you
i truly didn't plan it
if i did, then i'll apologize for that
but i still think you're a bitch
i mean how could you date my abuser
even if i was an asshole
you straight up imply my trauma doesn't matter
you honestly didn't care huh
i don't know why i keep writing
i know you'll see this and whine like a baby
i'm not even trying to convince you of anything
i don't want you in my life again
even if you see his true colors
even if you stay blind
even if he fucks you over
i won't forgive you
you'll be on your own
because those friends will disappear too
you know i went through it with him
but you can choose what you believe
i type this hoping it'll relieve my anger
because god i want to hate you
you deserve it
but i just can't
i type this to learn to hate you
to train myself that yes you deserve it
you're nearly just as bad as him
still fucking hate apple juice
you were never trapped
you were never chained down
you were always free
and you left many times
