Living Life One Day at a Time

Chapter 26

I had to keep it together. Even if it knew i wasn't going to find all the answers out tonight....what else could i do? I sent everyone to bed. I had to help mum though, as she started walking her legs gave way. Even though it was late i read Anna a story, it didn't stop the loud cries coming from her. I so desperately wanted to ask...but i couldn't. No yet... I don't think i want the answer, or if I'm even ready for it.

The next morning i woke up in Anna's bed, the memories started flashing back and all i wanted to do was breakdown but i couldn't, I wouldn't.

So i didn what i had to do, i got everyone up. Had breakfast, got dressed. I even took Anna to school.

Mum had called in sick and i definetly wasn't going to school. So after breakfast I made mum tell me everything.

'Uhh...It's ummm your dad. He wants to arghh take you ummm meet up.'

Who would have thought those few words could rip your world apart, but then again he's always done that.

My dad, umm we always did things together. Mums job was really demanding back then so me him and Anna, we were inseperable..so we thought. I remember we would go to the park and fly kites and at dessert he would always give us a bit more ice cream and when we went to bed he'd always tell us stories and I remember Anna and me we used to always sit on his lap when we were watching the telly and i'd put my hand out and he'd go. Round round a garden chasing teddy bear one stop two step tickle under there. I used to squeal and fall in a fit of giggles.  Now thats just a sad memory.

One dayi came back from school and there was a note. Just one singular note saying he couldn't do it anymore. It hit all of us hard, especially Anna. It was the day before her birthday. She was only eight. I was eleven. No one should have to deal with that.

It was really hard for mum too, she had to quit her job and go into a less demanding one and I guess she just kept going through life wondering what happened. That was three years ago. It took a long time to repair our hearts and our lives.

Dad was always the outdoorsy type so we always played sport together after he left i quit i just couldn't face it or anyone for a long time. But then i got back into it.

I just don't believe he wants to come back into our lives, not after what he did. So many bad words have been said, i could never go back to that image of the perfect dad. He's a stranger now he missed THREE years of my life, many of those nights I've cried myself to sleep and he wants to come back. Just to screw it up again... No one deserves that, i don't deserve it.