Look Me In The Eye When I Tell You I Love You

Confession

MJAM: I told you I'd have the next one up during Christmas break. I actually had to sneak on my mom's computer to do it to. Merry Christmas or whatever you celebrate. Enjoy!

Demie

    My mom didn’t say anything to me until Thursday. I was sitting in my room, studying for my AP Statistic test the next day, with my music turned up to max volume when she stormed in. She turned off my iPod, pinning me with an angry expression.

“It doesn’t make any sense having the music up that loud.” She chastised me.

I gave her an annoyed look, “That’s how I always listen to my music.”

She ignored me. “I don’t know what you got away with while your father and I were gone, but I’m putting an end to it! Where were you all night on Saturday and Sunday?”

“I went out with my friends.” I shrugged.

“You didn’t even tell me where you were going or when you’d get back.” She narrowed her eyes. “I was worried sick.”

“You were worried sick?” My expression illustrated my disbelief. “Are you kidding me? Glad to know that you were worried enough to just leave me here for the past five years by myself.”

She scoffed. “You weren’t by yourself. Sandra was here the entire time.”

I fought the urge to jump up and slap her. The fact that she would say something like that only fueled my dislike of her. It couldn’t really be that she thought she was perfectly innocent.

I stood, running a hand through my hair like a comb. “I can’t believe you just said that.” my anger was obvious, though my voice was calm. “Do you even care? That you’ve been gone all this time or that I haven’t seen you in all these years? Did you even miss me? Or was I an annoyance you wanted to be rid of?”

She only stared at me, speechless. it left me with a triumphant feeling, having rendered her at a lost for words. She snapped out of it, regaining her composure. “You’re being so melodramatic.”

My jaw dropped. “Melodramatic. You think I’m being melodramatic?”

“You are! You’re making such a big deal out of nothing. I’m here now and I’m ready to be your mom.” She said confidently.

I shook my head in disbelief, laughing bitterly. “You’re ready to be my mom? As if you can turn being a mom on and off. Do you even hear yourself right now?”

“Demie, watch your tone. I will not have you talk to me the way you did on Sunday.” She warned, “i will have some respect.”

“I will talk to you just as anyone would talk to the their mother who pretty much abandoned them!” i raised my voice as I crossed the room to stand in front of her, yelling now. “What are you gonna do? leave again? Platy mother? You-”

She beat me to the punch, slapping me just as I had wanted to slap her. I wanted to hit her back so badly, but I only balled my fists, glowering at her. She looked almost startled, as if she hadn’t really meant to slap me, but her expression hardened. “I told you not to talk to me that way.”

I forced my anger from my fists to my throat. “I hate you. I wish you had never come home.” My voice came through gritted teeth. Grabbing my shoes, I pushed past her and ran down the stairs. ignoring her calls, i grabbed my car keys and left.

Ian had reverted my car back to how it had looked before the accident so that I could drive again. I drove down the streets with my hands tight on the steering wheel, going much faster than I should have been. i ended up in front of Ian’s apartment, furious and upset, tears running down my cheeks. Using my key, for he hadn’t answered when I knocked, I let myself into his apartment. my shoes were kicked off at the door as my feet padded towards his bedroom. I stopped short when I heard the sounds coming from his room.