Venessa

Chapter 57

"Because, I love you."

I was stunned.

Frozen for a minute before, blinking again. He still kept looking at me, as if looking through me. I couldn't wrap my head around, the idea of him, loving me.

How can he? And why me?

I opened my mouth to say something, anything. But, couldn't gather any words so, I closed them again helplessly. He kept observing me, his eyes searching for something on my face. I opened my mouth again, to say something when, suddenly he kept his index finger over my lips.

"Don't." He said, shaking his head, "don't say anything." He slowly removed his finger from my lips. I gulped but, kept looking at him.

"I don't wanna hear anything. Especially, a response." He smiled at me. "You asked me the reason and gave you the answer. Expecting nothing in return." He explained, "These are my feelings and I have to deal with them, on my own. They do not concern you and this changes nothing." He said, alarmed.

I was still shocked at his confession.

"H-how?...why m-me?" I stuttered.

He smiled softly and turned to look at the sun, which was half set by now. He stared at something but, nothing in particular. But, my eyes never left his face. I just couldn't.

"I don't know for how long. Nor do I know when. But, that night whatever I felt, was more than empathy. It was deeper and more intense, than anything I've felt." He said, grinning like a teenage boy. "I know, I realized it late but, I'm glad I did. The thought of you in pain, made me restless & from the night after, I couldn't sleep without knowing, if you're sleeping soundly. It's so disturbing yet, calming at the same time." He said, looking away from me.

"And to answer your second question. How could I not?" He grinned at me. And I was confused to no end. How could he not? I furrowed my brows and heard him laughing heartly. I thought harder it finally striked me.

And I was blushing like crazy.

Wait, I was blushing!!!

I looked at ahead, trying to avoid his gaze at any cost when, suddenly a thought crossed my mind. And surprisingly, it left me disappointed at the possibility of it. I looked down at myself and whispered slowly.

"How can you be so sure? That it isn't attachment or sympathy instead?" I voiced my thought.

He chuckled lowly and I whipped my head to look at him. He shook his head, slightly and looked me in the eyes.

"I've analysed it already Vanessa." He said mockingly. "It isn't sympathy or I never would've, wanted to take away all of your, pain over myself. It isn't transaction for sure, or I would've wanted a answer from you. It isn't lust, neither it is dependency, nor do I see you as my possession." He said, raising a eyebrow at me, playfully. "And as for attachment... You'll know when the time comes." He said, looking away.

"Trevor. I-I didn't meant it that way. I just wa-". He intrupted me.

"Vanessa. I don't need you to stay. But, I wish to stay with you." He said, his eyes glowing as he looked at me and I was speechless.

When did this all happen?
Is it because of something I did?
Am I leading him on in a way?

But, I don't wanna hurt him.

Both of us went silent and kept looking ahead until, the sun disappeared completely.

As the dark started taking over and the breeze turned colder, Trevor got up and gave me his hand.

"Let's go back." He smiled, gesturing me to take his hand.

I looked at him for a moment and took his hand.

Let's go back........home.

-----

It's been 3 days, since we visited the beach and nothing has changed. Well definately, from his side but, it wasn't the same for me.

Subconsciously, I started comparing everything from the past with the present.

I know, it isn't healthy or right but, I just couldn't shove away the thought of getting away from him too. All these days, he's been my support and everything else I needed. I feared if, I started falling for him, he'd be snatched away from me too.

Now, I feared love itself.

And I also feared hurting him.

Now I know, I already did when, I cut myself  but, I didn't know back then. Now, I'm feeling guilty subconsciously. I should not lead him on, in any way. I can't let him suffer because of me.

He's already done so much for me, that I couldn't pay him back even with my life and the thought of hurting him, pains me. He doesn't deserve it. Any of it.

And nor do I deserve him.

He's an angel and I'm just a damsel in distress.

I.... We....

Suddenly, the door to my room opened, with a knock and a head popped in. I turned to look at Trevor peeking in, with a sheepish grin over his face.

I sat up on the bed and he slowly stood under the door frame. Looking guilty.

"I'm sorry to interrupt your sleep." He said, scratching the back of neck and giving me small smile.

"No, no. It's okay. I wasn't asleep, anyway." I said.

"Well.... I came to ask you, to pack a bag for around a week." He spoke.

"Around a week! But, where are we going?" I asked, confused.

He smiled, almost smirked.

"You'll know."

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