Chapter 44

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❌Warning❌

This chapter contains context regarding self harm & suicide.

Please skip this chapter, if these events trigger you.

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I cried louder.

She can't do this to me.

We love each other. She can't just let go of this. She can't throw me away!

She can't break up with me like this. We're not supposed to end up like this. How could she do that to me?
Am I nothing to her?

I cried harder, turning into a whimpering ball, sitting on the ground. What will I do, without her? Where will I go? What am I supposed to do now?

And suddenly, all of it dawned on me like, a crashing of a building.

I was alone, again.

I looked around and found the last of my belongings spread on the floor. And then, I spot her money. Just looking at it, fills me with disgust.

She threw it at me.

As if, I was some beggar and not her girlfriend. I sob harder, trying my best to stay quiet. I sit their a few more minutes, looking at the door, hoping she would open it and let me in.

I hoped that, this was one of those major fights we had and would eventually end up, with us in bed and everything around us, vanishing. I hoped that, she was just pulling a prank on me and she would surprise me, soon. I hoped, that she would've been secretly preparing for the party.

I sat their, patiently. Waiting for her, to open the door and let me in. But, it didn't happen.

I finally gathered the courage to stand up on my feet. I collected all of the money and stacked it and kept it in front of her door. I was not going to take it, at any cost.

Cause I wasn't desperate for money.
I was desperate for love.

Which she took away from me.

I picked up my bags and started moving away from her door. Before entering into the elevator, I glanced back, for the last time, at her door. And the stillness of it, brought tears to my eyes.

I lost everything.

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Void.

In and out.

Their was vast ocean in front of me but, it was still void.

The cold breeze gently passing by me. Reminding me everything I had, once.

A beautiful family.

A loving father, a caring mother, a reliable best friend, a supportive brother, a loved one and my love.

I lost everything.

My family.

My friends.

My body.

My dreams.

My love.

I was left here for nothing. I no longer belonged here. I wasn't supposed to live.

I wasn't supposed to live anymore.

I left the handle of the bag as, it fell back on the sand. And I started moving towards the water. Going straight to it, I could see them once again. I could rejoin them. I could be with them once again.

I came closer to the ocean as, the wave came crashing towards the shore and hit my feet. I shivered. It was cold.

I kept on going in. Waiting for it to swallow me completely. I went in more and my feet barely touch the sand under water. I was floating as, the chilling sensation filled my consciousness. I kept on going into it, trying to push myself deeper into the ocean.

The cold water was soon starting to weigh me down through my soaked clothes and I struggled to keep my head above the water.

I smiled at the thought that suddenly crossed my mind. My grave stone would be very interesting.

Vanessa Emily Smith.
Born and died on the same day.
11th December.

Finally the water swallow me it completely and the cold sensation starts to suffocate me. The cold water, stinging on my skin like a thousand knifes.I start to get out of breath and open my mouth....

"Mom. Dad. I'm coming home."
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  " Mom ?"

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😓😓😓

I'm sorry guys.

Let's wait for next chapter. 😓

Please vote!!!💓

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