I swear fealty to you (Clexa fanfic)

Part 40

Clarke POV:

I woke up in the same position we fell asleep in. Lexa was wrapped around my body and her face was in my neck. I planned to stay there until she woke up because she looked so peaceful until I looked at the time and I knew I had to get up.

I very slowly got out of her grasp, resting her head on a pillow and I tiptoed to the door. I opened it carefully and walked out, not making a sound.

Luna and Raven were talking in the kitchen and they went quiet when they saw me. "How's Lexa?" Luna asked, I could hear the worry in her voice. "Still asleep" I answered as I walked up next to them.

"I-I don't even know what is going on," Raven said with her hands on her head. It didn't look like she slept much. "Not only did she blow up her life but she blew up all of ours." Raven said with a little anger and confusion in her tone.

"Lexa put us all in danger, hell, I ended up in the hospital from a car crash that her dad caused, and I may never walk properly again. And that's because of her." She said. I was getting aggravated at what she was saying because it wasn't true.

"It's not her fault," Luna said, defending Lexa. "How? She said her dad warned her and she did whatever she wanted to anyways." Raven said as she threw her hands in the air.

"Raven, he warned her not to make friends, not to date, not to talk to anyone. She just wanted to be normal and have a life," I snapped at her.

"Lexa didn't want to stay around us. She wanted to leave because she knows first hand what her dad will do to the people she cares about if she gets attached. Over and over again she pushed us away, all of us. Multiple times she did so. We would've been safe but it was me who made her stay, it was me who didn't let her leave, and I insisted she let someone in. I pushed her to stay. So it is my fault that she got beaten up all the time, it's my fault that her dad had a reason to come after her and my fault you got hit by a car. So if you want to blame someone Raven, blame me." I said as tears spilled down my face as I looked at my best friend.

"I'm sorry Clarke," Raven said apologetically as she looked at the ground, taking in everything I said.

"Is everything ok?" My mom said as she came into the kitchen and looked at all of us. Well mostly me because you could see the tears in my eyes. "Yeah, we are fine" I said, wiping my eyes as I looked at Raven who gave me a small, apologetic nod.

"Good, so how is the patient?" She asked. "Still sleeping, surprisingly since we were practically shouting" I said with a little laugh.

"Yeah well from what she has said, she has only gotten a few hours of sleep for the past week." My mom said.

"I don't know how she does it," I mumbled in awe of Lexa who was just sleeping in the next room. "She was always strong, stronger than me. I'm not exactly sure how she does it but she has done it all her life and it is incredible." Luna answered, also in awe of Lexa.

"You can say that again. She is the only person I have ever seen who has done what she has done, been through what she had been through and survived" my mom said with admiration. I smiled at her words. Lexa was the strongest person I knew and would probably ever meet. "I'm gonna go check on her," I said as I walked out of the kitchen and into her room.

She was in the same position she was in with me except there was a pillow where I used to be. I smiled as I watched her. She looked so beautiful and peaceful when she slept, even with the bruises. It was also like you couldn't even tell she had demons. And she most certainly does.

I walked back to everyone and said "still sound asleep." And they all smiled "Good, she needs it" my mom said as she nodded with everyone.

It was about 2 o'clock in the afternoon and Lexa was still asleep. We all let her stay asleep as much as she needed to. I was sitting in the room with her and for the first time since Lexa left, I had inspiration to draw.