Avengers: Peace in our Time

8-This is Why We Can't Have Nice Things

The party had slowly dwindled until only a few close friends of the team remained. They were all seated on comfortable sofas and lost in conversation. As several conversations occurred at once, Dean let them fade out of his awareness as he watched Natasha and Bruce walk up to the group and take a seat together across from him and Thor. She reached over to Dean's hand and tapped his palm, invoking their old secret language. Dean's eyes widened at the message and Natasha nodded happily. The game was on.

"So I want to know how this works," Clint said as he pointed at Mjolnir, which was resting on the large coffee table. "It's got to be some kind of trick, right?"

Thor shook his head. "No, it's much more than a trick, I assure you."

"That inscription- if he be worthy shall possess the power of Thor!" Clint chuckled. "It's a total trick."

Thor gestured at the hammer. "Be my guest."

Clint popped up and approached the hammer.

"Now, Clint, you've had a rough time lately so if you have some performance issues we won't pass too much judgement."

Clint flipped Tony the bird before trying to lift the hammer. It may as well have weighed a metric ton. "I don't know how the hell you do it."

Clint waved a hand at the hammer, prompting Stark to give it a go.

"You know me- I never back away from an honest challenge. It's nothing more than physics- which I excel at, by the way."

Thor nodded. "Of course it is."

"So once I lift this bad boy I'm king of Asgard?

"Yes, of course."

"Well, in that case everyone had better prepare for Prima Nocta."

The women present rolled their eyes and laughed.

"How does Pepper put up with you?" Maria asked as she reached for her beer and knocked it back.

"Oh, she loves it," Tony said as he pulled the hammer. He scowled, excused himself, and returned with a gauntlet from his suit. Even with it, the hammer remained in the same place. Rhodes even joined in but the result was the same.

"Banner, have a go," Thor invited.

Bruce hopped up and gave it a try, then feigned anger.

"Alright, Green Giant," Tony said as he patted him on the shoulder. "It was a good try. Steve, you're up to bat."

Steve reached for the handle but quickly gave up. "No luck, I guess."

"No, no luck I'm afraid," Thor said with a chuckle. Everyone had been so preoccupied with laughing at Bruce they didn't notice what Thor had seen- the hammer budged ever so slightly.

"Tasha?" Bruce suggested.

"Oh, that's not a question I need answered," Natasha declined.

After Sam, Maria, and Dr. Cho took their turns Tony pointed at Dean. "Alright, Goosey. Give it a go."

Dean shook his head and rested against Thor's shoulder. "Oh, I'm not concerned with that hammer. I can lift the one that counts."

A rain of catcalls filled the room and Dean hid his face in Thor's chest as the Asgardian gave him a squeeze.

"Alright boys, you two can go and make the beast with two backs later," Tony laughed.

"I have never heard that euphemism for sex," Clint said.

Tony rolled his eyes. "Read some Shakespeare, man."

"I'll get right on that!"

"I want to know- so what if one of us duplicates your fingerprints would we be able to pick up the hammer?" Tony asked.