I Can't Stop [Niam]

Chapter 28

Enjoy this weird, long chapter, with badly written smut! :)

One chapter and an epilogue left.

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“So Mr. Horan, you’ve made great progress in the past two months.” Dr. Carter informed me.

“Really?” I asked in excitement. Maybe I can get out soon.

“I know you’ve had a minor setback with the whole Josh situation, but you’ve only had one other incident since then.” He glanced at some papers before reading something off of them. “And from what I am reading here, it wasn’t even really your fault.”

“Um…yeah, I caught a bad stomach bug that lasted two days.” I replied.

He set down his papers and smiled at me. “That’s perfectly fine. We know things like sickness is going to happen and we can’t blame you for anything that happens during it. I know you lost a few pounds from it, but what really helps is that as soon as you were better. You were willing to eat like you were before getting sick and were willing to gain the weight back as soon as you could and that shows true progress.”

I smiled lightly to myself. “Yeah, well, I want to get to a point where I am healthy and to be honest I want to get out of here soon.”

Dr. Carter let out a small chuckle. “I’m sure you will be getting out real soon, but before we discuss that, let’s talk about how you felt when you first got here and compare them to how you are feeling now. Let’s just discuss your journey here.”

“Well, when I hated it when I first got here, I hated myself just as much, if not more. I just felt like I was this humongous fat blob that no one would love. I always thought how could my brother, my sister-in-law, my friends, even my boyfriend, love me when I was so disgustingly fat. I realize now how delusional I was. I was killing myself with this wrong few of how I looked. I was starving myself because I thought I was overweight and everyone hated me. Even if I was overweight, starving myself wouldn’t be the answer to losing weight and I know that now.” I revealed.

“We’re very glad that you learned that Mr. Horan, but now let’s take this in a more serious direction. What do you think even triggered this disorder?” Dr. Carter asked.

I took a sharp intake of breath. “Geez, I don’t even really know. I think it was something that was so trivial. Like someone made one fat joke at me and usually that doesn’t bother me. But I also think it could have started when a pair of my jeans wouldn’t fit me one day. And it’s not even because I was getting fat, I think it was actually because I grew taller or they shrunk in the wash or something like that. But, it got me thinking, and I’ve started noticing the comments my friends would make on my eating habits or the stupid fat jokes that were made to me every now and then. And I think that’s how my whole disorder happened.”