I Can't Stop [Niam]

Chapter 13

Try not to hate me to much after this chapter.

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One week. That’s how long I have been dating Liam, one week. And it has been the best week of my life.

I still can’t believe its happening. I’m expecting to just wake up and find out this is all a dream. I keep pitching myself to show I am not asleep. I am actually dating Liam James Payne!

Dating Liam is an absolutely amazing experience. He is so sweet, gentle, and unbelievably sexy. He makes me feel things that I didn’t think I was capable of feeling anymore. When I am with him I feel…normal. All my insecurities fall away when I am with Liam.

I honestly do believe that Liam knew what I was doing. Yupp, I said was, I haven’t skipped eating a single day since we started dating and it is all because of him. Being with him clears my head and I’m starting to realize what I was doing wasn’t the healthiest thing to do. He never physically told me that he knew what I was doing. I just know he knows by the way he reassures me and the compliments he gives me. He murmur sweet things to me, things like you’re beautiful or amazing or perfect.

That doesn’t mean I am fully comfortable with my body. I still feel self-conscious and bigger than the people who surround me. I actually almost cried this morning when I found out that I had gained some weight. I actually thought about not eating again.

But, I didn’t. I have eaten today because I don’t want to see the look of disappointment on his face when I don’t eat. I’m doing this for him, it has always been for him. If he says I am fine the way I am and if he is fine with me being…bigger, then I guess I am too.

I was surprised to see that everyone seemed to be ok with Liam and I at school. Everyone seemed to be happy for us, especially our friends, so I just assumed that everyone is happy or ok with us.

I was wrong.

School had just gotten out and Liam and I were making our way, hand in hand, down to his locker before I had to go to my meeting with Mr. Cowell. I’m pretty excited because after the meeting Liam promised me that he was going to take me out on a dinner date.

“Shit, babe, I left a book of mine in my last class. I’ll be right back.” Liam told me has he started to head off to his last class.

“Hey aren’t you forgetting something?” I said with a pout and then puckered my lips for him.

He smirked and walked back over to me and gave me a big and obnoxious kiss. “Of course I didn’t forget.” He gave me one more peck before he started pulling away.

I pulled him back him and kissed him a few more times. “Be quick, the quicker I get this meeting over, the quicker we can go out.”

He smiled at me and kissed me one more time before pulling away. “I’ll be right back.”

A few moments after he left, I was shoved against the lockers. I wasn’t looking up at the time, so the shove caught me off balance and I fell to the ground.

“What the f-” I looked up to the person who shoved me and my eyes widen in surprise. “Sophia?”

“Get up you fag.” She hissed at me.

I was once again shocked. All I could do was stare at her for a while. This girl is supposed to be one of Liam’s best friends, she knows that Liam is gay and isn’t she gay as well? Why the hell is she calling me a fag and slamming into lockers? I slowly got up from the ground, but remained speechless.

“You don’t deserve him.” She growled.

I stared at her in confusion. “What are you talking about?”

She laughed bitterly. “Liam, you don’t deserve Liam at all. Liam deserves a lot better than a disgusting, gay, fat arse like you.”

Ok, ouch that hurt. I already know that Liam deserves better than me and he deserves someone who isn’t disgusting and fat like me, I don’t need to be reminded of that. But, Liam’s gay and I’m gay and she knows this, so why is she saying that I don’t deserve Liam because I am gay.

She continued. “God, you just had to ruin it all for me. You just had to come along and like Liam back. I didn’t even know you were fucking gay. I was changing him, I was changing Liam. I can tell. He was beginning to like me and not you. But, you ruined it all by liking him back. You had to get him to feel sorry for you and have him feel like he needs to help you that he needs to save you. God, he doesn’t deserve you he deserves me, he belongs with me!” She yelled the last part out at me.

I was very confused now and to be honest, a little scared that what she was saying might be true except for the whole he and her idea. “But, he’s gay, even if he wasn’t with me he would be with you.” Wrong thing to say, it ended with me getting a slap across the face and that stung like a bitch. “I-I mean he is gay and I-I thought that you w-were, you know, into the same-sex a-as well.” I stuttered out.

She let go of me and backed up again before laughing evilly again. “That was just a set up. I was the one to come up with the dating thing. I knew if I get him to agree to the whole fake dating thing that I could make him fall in love with me. But you! You had to come out as gay and that gave him the courage he needs to ask you out.”

Ok, this is starting to make sense now, but she wasn’t through yet. “Why would he want someone as disgusting and ugly and fat as you? Did you honestly think those sweats made you look skinnier? If anything they probably make you look bigger. How overweight are you fatty? How many pounds are you trying to hide? Liam is going to realize soon just how much of a disgusting fat pig you are and then he will be coming right back to me.”

With that, she just walked off. She left me standing there and on the verge of a panic attack. Everything she said was true. I really am nothing but a disgusting pig and Liam is going to realize that soon enough. He’s going to realize just how big I am and I’m not losing weight, I’m actually gaining. He’s going to leave me. He wouldn’t want to have an obese boyfriend.

I can’t lose Liam. I’ve wanted this for so long, I’ve wanted to date him for so long and now that I am actually getting what I want, I don’t want it to end. That’s why I need to do something about it. I need to lose the weight quickly, before he notices just how big I am, and to do that I would need to go on a stricter diet then I was before.

I felt a pair of hands grip on to my waist and I flinched out of the grip. I looked up and I saw Liam’s hurt face and I quickly grabbed his hands and interlaced our fingers. I pulled him to me and gave him a quick kiss.

We started walking hand in hand down to Mr. Cowell’s room in a comfortable silence. Well, comfortable to him. I doubt he knows the troubling thoughts that are going through my head.

We stopped outside Mr. Cowell’s room and Liam tried to wrap his arms around me again, but I stopped him by just grabbing and interlacing our fingers again. I don’t want Liam to touch me right now and feel how fat I am and realize I’m not worth his time.

He leaned down a kissed me. “Hurry up with the meeting and we can go get something to eat.” He whispered before kissing me again.

I pulled back and gulped as I looked him in the eye. “Um, I’m not really hungry, can we just go to your house and hang out?”

He pulled away from me and dropped his hands from mine. “I, um, I guess that’s ok.” He sputtered out awkwardly.

My heart almost broke as a look of disappointment crossed over in his eyes.

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I don't actually hate Sophia guys, I think she is a really pretty girl actually, I just saw this necessary for the story.

Do you guys think Liam is going to confront Niall about his not eating? Why or why not? And were you guys expecting that from Sophia?