I Can't Stop [Niam]

Chapter 7

I'm so sorry that it took this long to update. I was just having so much trouble finding a way to write this chapter. This chapter does explain how Niall is able to add up and memorize calories in his head. Anyway, I hope you guys enjoy the chapter! 

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I don’t know how I found the energy to get out of bed this morning. My bed was just so comfy and school is full of obnoxious, judgmental jerks that don’t give a damn about me. At least at home I don’t have to pretend that my brother cares about me.

I tried to get out of school by faking being sick. Greg saw right through it though. He made me get out of bed and promise I would be downstairs in 15 minutes so that I can eat something before I left for school. I really didn’t want anything to eat, but I’m no idiot. I know I have gone to long without eating something. I’m going to need something, no matter how small and small it will be, so that I will have energy to survive the day. Meaning, I don’t have a problem.

I didn’t really have the energy to try and look presentable, plus it’s hard to get dress with the cast on my hand. I just put on the clothes I borrowed from Liam, hoping once again that they would cover up the fat, but knowing it won’t. I then brushed my teeth, put on deodorant, put on my favorite snap back, grabbed my backpack and headed on down the steps.

When I reached the bottom I smelt the overpowering aroma of bacon. My stomach growled at the same time that my eyes watered. I quickly wiped my eyes before heading into the kitchen. I used to love the taste of bacon, I probably still do, but bacon was a big no and was not allowed in my diet.

“Hey baby bro, would you like some bacon and eggs? I think Denise made some toast to.” Greg asked when I walked into the kitchen.

There is 88 calories in toast and it’s portable, so I’ll be able to eat that on my way to school. I’ll just go with that.

“Um… Thanks, but I need to get to school early and I’m not all that to hungry anyway. So, I’ll just take the toast with me.” I said as I grabbed the toast as I was on my way towards the door.

“Wait!” Greg handed me the lunch that Denise always makes for me. “Can I ask you why there is a broken plate and food all over your bedroom floor?”

I blanched. I forgot about the plate of food I threw across the room yesterday. I didn’t really want to talk to Greg about it so I decided to just pretend I didn’t hear him. “I really got to go Greg. Later.” I said quickly and then closed the door and hurried off before he could approach me again.

The school was only about ten minutes away and as soon as I got into the building I saw Liam leaning against my locker. I don’t want to see him yet, but he saw me and he started walking towards me and I did the only logical thing I can think of. Which is me hurrying into the nearest room and locking the doors, smart right?

Ok, so I might be avoiding Liam. Scratch that, I am definitely avoiding him.

We have been friends for years and I can’t honestly remember the last time he has had to hold me because I was crying so hard. No, wait, I do remember. It was back when my mother died when I was ten. I don’t know what would have happened if Liam wasn’t there with me during that. As young as we were, he was my rock and the only one who was able to calm me down.

But now we are sixteen. I can’t face him after having that panic attack in front of him and then crying in front of him. As far as he knows there should be no reason for me to have a panic attack or have a break down like I did on Saturday. I guess avoiding him doesn’t really matter anyways. He probably thinks I’m so pathetic that he doesn’t want to be around me.

“Mr. Horan, may I ask why and who you are hiding from?” I turned around to find that the school’s guidance counselor, Mr. Cowell, sitting at his desk.

“Sorry sir.” I didn’t say anything further and I knew he wouldn’t make me say anything else. I knew Mr. Cowell before he became a guidance counselor at the school. He was my therapist when my mom died. He’s really good at what he does and he really helped me, along with Liam, move on from my mother’s death and my father’s leaving me.

It doesn’t mean I want his help now. There is nothing to help.

He sighed. “Niall, what happened to your hand?”

I shrugged. “I got mad and punched a mirror.” I stated simply.

He looked at me skeptically. “And what made you so angry that you had to punch the mirror?”

I refused to say anything. I have the upmost respect for Mr. Cowell and I have never been able to lie to him, mostly because he can see through every little lie. If I didn’t want him to know something, I just didn’t say it.

He sighed again and motioned to the chairs in front of his desk. “Please, sit. I know our appointment isn’t until later, but you are already here. So, let’s just get it over with now.”

I nodded and sat in one of the chairs he motioned to and waited for him to continue speaking.

“Now, Niall, how have you been?” I just shrugged. “Seriously Niall, you seem to be down and no like your old self. I remember how happy excited you used to be. I haven’t seen you like this since your mother’s death and your father’s abandonment. What’s wrong Niall?”

I felt tears come to my eyes and I shook my head. “I thought this appointment was to talk about getting me a tutor?” I whispered out.

“While yes, that is what the session is about, I am also very concerned for you. I can help you out, whatever is going on, I can help you, you know that right?” He asked a little hopefully.

I moved my stare to the floor and shrugged again. He can’t help me if there is nothing to help. He can’t change the fact that I’m fat. He can’t change the fact that people find me repulsing. He can’t change the fact that Liam doesn’t love me.

I heard him sigh again. “Ok then. I have found a tutor for you. I know you’re embarrassed about needing a tutor for Spanish. Well, to make this less embarrassing, your tutor actually needs help in math and you are the brightest student in your grade when it comes to that department.”

That did make me feel a bit better. And what he said was true. I’ve always had a knack for numbers. I could do most equations in my head and I could memorize any number sequence you gave me. It’s a very useful ability to have when you count your calories.

There’s actually not a level of math at the school high enough for me, so I take online college math. None of my friends know that about me though and I don’t plan on telling them. I don’t want to give them one more reason to make fun of me.

“Also, you should be comfortable with this person.” Mr. Cowell continued.

Now, this interested me. “Who is it?”

Mr. Cowell ignored me. “He will be coming to your house every day after school, not Fridays, for tutoring sessions. I would like to see you after school every Friday, so I can monitor your progress.”

I raised an eyebrow at him, but I wasn’t surprise. I knew he doesn’t need to see me every Friday to check on my progress. He can do that through a computer. I know Mr. Cowell; he’s going to try his hardest to find out what’s wrong with me.

I agreed to it anyway and he wrote me a pass. I made it to his door, but turned around to face him again. “You never told me who my tutor was.”

He smiled up at me. “That’s right. Your tutor is Liam Payne.”

Are you fucking kidding me?

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So, I would love to know:

1. What is your guys thoughts on Mr. Cowell?

2. How do you think these tutoring sessions between Niall Liam with go?

3. Who is going to find out Niall's secret first?