I'm Worried That if I Go Outside the World will Collapse

Here I sit
In this perfectly imperfect world of mine
It's safe
Boring.
My fingers have shaped grooves in the walls
My feet have dented the floor
I've memorized every corner
Every stain
Every stair
In the inescapable maze there's little to do
I sit and picture a life out of here
But I've only gone so far
And that was so
Long ago
Is the world beyond still there?
I've gone to the window a thousand times
Day after day
It snows
I can no longer remember what the sun feels like
I can no longer picture anything more
Perhaps it no longer exists
If I go outside will it all stay in its usual place
Will the world crumble before me like sand?
Between the two places I've been I can not picture there being more
And for once I'm worried
That if I go outside
The world will collapse