I'm Worried That if I Go Outside the World will Collapse

Disapear.

Sometimes I think it'd be okay with everyone if I just up and left
Sometimes I wonder if they'd be better off without me around
I'm My noise and my clutter
Am I too clingy?
I would grab a bus at night and go as far as I could
I have seven hundred dollars saved up
I could do that
My bedroom could become something beautiful
Maybe a guest room
So you could have some one besides me over to talk to
My room could become something other than the place I sobbed about my grandfather's passing
It could fill with peace
And I would live by the beach
And breath in the salty air
Sometimes I want to run away
And make friends who actually care
Friends who text me first
Friends who are excited when I tell them things
Sometimes I think that if so left
I could be happy
And I know one day I'll be gone
Just not sure if I'll be alive when it happens