I'm Worried That if I Go Outside the World will Collapse

Sweetheart

"He's a sweetheart, or uh- he used to be."

"Used to be?"

"Yeah."

"What do you mean?"

"Huh?"

"Well you said 'used to be' that implies he isn't anymore."

"Oh. I don't know. He might still be but I don't know him anymore and I want to believe that we'd still be friends if he was still the way he used to be."

"Oh."

"What?"

"What?"

"You said 'oh' weird. Like my answer annoyed you."

"It didn't."

"Stop being difficult and tell me what the fuck you meant."

"Fine. Huh. You want someone to blame it on."

"That's not-"

"You tell yourself that it's his fault, that he's an asshole and that's why you aren't friends anymore."

"Hey-"

"Don't misunderstand me please, this isn't a dig at you, it's just-"

"Just what? You can't finish your sentence there."

"You need to let him go. I think you want to believe everything has a reason and that no good person would just abandon you like that... but you know, he didn't do it on purpose. Maybe you just drifted apart without any reason.... Maybe that's all."

"I don't want to believe that."

"I know."

"I just... I don't know, I guess i miss what we had a lot. Which is silly, I mean, it was elementary school and here I am wishing nothing ever changed. It was seven years ago for fuck's sake."

"It's not silly."

"What?"

"It's not silly. Miss him, no one says you can't, but you have to understand he's not the bad guy. No one is."

"What if he meant more to me than I meant to him?"

"From what you've told me about him? I think you mattered an awful lot to that boy. It's not silly."