I'm Worried That if I Go Outside the World will Collapse

Dead

Today I saw a recipe for molasses bread
And I've been using my mother's bread maker a lot lately
And anyway it made me think of you
There was this happy little spurt of excitement in my chest
"I should make that and tell grandpa"
Because I knew you'd like it
And I'd do my best to save you a couple pieces
But then I remembered that you're gone
And it hit me like a ton of fucking bricks to my skull
I hate that I loved you
Because God damnit
Losing you was the worst thing that has and will ever happen to me