Motorcycles and Lies (Anxceit)

Slip Away

TW: Panic attack, absentmindedly scratching oneself, dry heaving (throwing up)

Virgil gently set a hand on Janus's shoulder, unsure of what else to do to comfort him. He feared what exactly Janus was mad about. Was it about him and his confession or the situation as a whole? Janus looked over at him, beginning to speak before angrily grabbing the notebook again, writing furiously, the ink in the pen unable to fully keep up, leaving some of the letters incomplete.

"Go to the car, I'll meet you there."

Virgil looked at the words on the page, his brain automatically assuming that the tone that Janus was trying to convey was angry and stern. He listened, leaving the room quickly, fearing the worst and afraid Janus was going to yell at him if he made a wrong step. He knew his friend likely wasn't mad at him, but the panic that clouded his mind like a raging storm was enough to push all rational thought away and to just avoid the situation. He rushed out the back door and opted to sit in the backseat, rather than the passenger seat as he was on the ride previous.

Virgil picked at the skin around his nails, trying to breathe smoothly enough to be able to seem normal when Janus to come back. Once Virgil had calmed enough to fumble to pull out his phone, he texted Patton a simple, "I'm okay, heading back soon. Janus driving." After seeing a ten-minute-old text from his brother, worrying about how he was doing.

Virgil leaned his head back against the headrest, willing the pins and needles that seemed to roam his body in waves to leave, to let him feel normal. This was certainly not the worst attack he had ever had but it was unique in the pure pain and exhaustion that was before it. His energy was already similar to how he would feel after a panic attack but now that he was having one? He felt utterly miserable and on the verge of fainting. He breathed in a shaky breath, trying to keep

himself alert and awake, not wanting to sleep in the confined space, alone and vulnerable.

The dark spots in his vision grew involuntarily, the need to throw up overwhelming the poor, darkly dressed boy. He shed his hoodie, a spare one that Patton had thrown on his shoulders last second before leaving the house, his brother afraid the cold air would make him feel worse.

The cold air hit his bare arms like a truck, the feeling only helping to calm his body for a moment before he was forced to fumble with the car door, pulling on the handle with weak fingers before dry heaving out the sickness his body wanted to release. Nothing came out, reminding Virgil that his stomach was begging for food and water. The lack of care he had given to himself while at home was evident, his shaking limbs and racing heart catching up to him as he collapsed into the seat, his arm laying limply out the window.

____

When Janus exited his home only to find Virgil slumped out the car door and asleep, he felt his heart nearly skip a beat in fear. He ran to the car, noticing the thin layer of sweat that seemed to drench the larger of the two boys. Janus gently picked up Virgil's hand and observed the rosy scrapes across his hands and arms, indents making little half circles into the palm of his hand. He noticed the nasty stench on him and knew he had to take him home and make sure he was taken care off. Janus knew that Virgil would be mad at him for coming inside their home but it was necessary. He had noticed the way Virgil would dance around his home life and only very recently gave his address to Janus earlier that day.

Janus, for what felt like the hundredth time, ignored Virgil's wishes and did what he thought was best. So, he took the asleep man home, brought him in, seeing that Patton was alone in Virgil's room, asleep and hugging a small, black stuffed bear close to his chest. Janus only spared the sleeping boy a glance before continuing to carry Virgil bridal-style further into the house, in search of a bathroom. When he finally found one, he gently set Virgil on the musty rug and grabbed a washcloth, wetting it, and gently dabbing it across Virgil's face to wake him up and remove the half-dried sweat.

A small groan left the sleeping boy's lips, eyes fluttering open slowly but quickly closing as soon as the light hit his eyes properly.

"Patton?" He said softly.

Janus just let out a small chuckle and shook his head against as Virgil's eyes finally focused on him.

Virgil's brow furrowed in confusion, once again opening and closing his eyes, now noticing the light had been turned off but the soft glow of the slowly rising sun.

"The hell? I was just in the car..." Virgil's voice was slurred and gravely, much deeper in tone than normal, too.

Janus looked around the room before pointing to the shower and then making a motion of putting imaginary food in his mouth before cocking his head to the side as if to ask a question.

Virgil shook his head, whether it was in response or to shake off the dreariness, Janus wasn't sure. Virgil looked up at Janus, slowly leaning forward towards him, an obstructing buzz filling his brain as he wrapped his arms around the other, resting his head on Janus's jacket, just above the small, yellow snake patch above his heart.

A/N
Hope everyone has had a good day :)