Seeking Escape

5. For All the Right Reasons

*** Joyce's POV ***

Neil: Lunch?

I was nervous as fuck about my evening plans. I could barely focus, let alone eat shitty pub food or fend off Neil's advances. I sighed and typed back in the chat window.

Joyce: Not today. I'm not feeling great.

Neil: Oh that's a shame. Just in time for the weekend too. Maybe I can stop over and bring you some soup if you are still feeling cruddy.

Joyce: You're very sweet, but I don't want to risk you catching what I have.

Stress. Anxiety. My haunting past wasn't contagious, but boy was it destructive.

Neil: We'll see. I'll check in on you. Maybe you should head home if you're not well.

Nope. Things would not improve at home. I would just sit and ruminate about what was to come. My video chat with Quinn. Fuck. My breathing got shallower just by allowing the thought to cross my mind just now. I closed my eyes and took some deep breaths to recenter.

"Joyce. You have a visitor." My student assistant said from the door. My head popped up to see Kay standing behind her, looking around nervously.

She had texted me earlier in the week to apologize and check in. The truth was that while I still felt somewhat betrayed by her actions, I wasn't as angry. I meant what I told Quinn. She pushed me to do something I likely wouldn't have done otherwise. And now I was on the cusp of another big step.

I waved her in. I owed her a sliver of gratitude and maybe she could help me settle my nerves. My student stepped aside and I saw that Kay brought reinforcements. She wiggled a paper bag that signaled she had brought thai takeout.

"A peace offering." She said, setting the bag down, but remaining standing. "If you still hate my guts, I'll leave."

"Shut the door and sit down, you goof." I replied. She grinned and joined me across the desk. I reached out and grabbed her hands surprising her. I stared into her eyes. "I understand you were trying to help me, but I need to trust the people in my life. You violated my boundaries. Don't do it again, Kay."

"Understood." She nodded and gave my hands a squeeze. I squeezed her back and then let go.

"I'm actually glad you're here." I said.

"An excuse to dodge lunch with Neil?" She teased, opening the bag and laying out the options.

"Um actually...I responded to Quinn and agreed to meet him...virtually...tonight." I stammered.

Kay's brown eyes became saucers. "You what?! Oh my God! OH MY GOD!"

She squealed and stood up, leaning across the desk and gripping my shoulders. I wasn't okay with the contact. "Um, Kay..."

"Right, sorry! Oh my! I'm so proud of you." She dropped her grasp on me and just beamed at me. I felt myself blushing under her gaze. This shouldn't be a big deal. "So tell me how this played out."

I filled her in. Resolving to contact him after milling it over and talking to my therapist about it, of course. The hours between sending my response and receiving his, agreeing to my terms and giving me his private number so we could connect outside of his platform. The few texts we had exchanged the most recent this morning saying he was looking forward to finally meeting me tonight.

She wore her excitement, unable to contain it. But she paused and cocked her head. "And how are you feeling about it all?"

"Giddy, but also nauseated. Excited, but apprehensive. I don't know what I'm expecting out of this, or what he's expecting." I shared, feeling a little bit of relief in just putting it out there.