Seeking Escape

39: Facing Fears

*** Joyce's POV ***

After a chaotic couple of days, Quinn and I settled back into our routine. True to his word, he rearranged some things and attended my next therapy session with me. Nearly the entirety of the conversation centered on our successful first time and then my freakout on Friday. Quinn asked really great questions about what he could do for me if that happened again and I think we both felt way more confident should it happen again. My therapist also gave us some homework to talk without being in the sexual heat of the moment about boundaries.

"Well it looks like we don't have a lot of time left. Anything else we should focus on?" My therapist started winding down.

"Oh we had a thing on Friday night." Quinn mentioned squeezing my hand.

My mind immediately went to Dan and then instantly remembered that I had failed to discuss any of that situation with Quinn. "Oh shit! There's something else too."

Quinn looked over at my grim expression. "The Dre thing?"

I shook my head and locked eyes with my therapist. "Let me see if I can clear more time."

"No, it's fine." I insisted. I turned my eyes to Quinn who suddenly realized that it must be something that he wasn't aware of. He took my hand and set his jaw, shoring himself for what was to come next.

"Kay didn't show on Friday. She set me up to meet Dan." I said to him directly.

"What?!" Quinn exploded.

"I didn't keep it from you purposefully, Quinn. It's just so much happened that I honestly forgot." I explained.

He took a deep breath and I could feel my therapist's eyes on us, but I didn't look away from him. He quickly gathered himself, but his jaw throbbed with tension. "I'm not mad at you, but fucking Kay, Jesus."

"I know. It was the last straw for me too." I responded quickly.

"Are you okay?" He asked, looking me over like he was expecting to see evidence of mine and Dan's interaction on me.

"Quinn, remember..." The therapist coached him.

"Right. Um, what are feeling from that interaction?" He rephrased to avoid me shutting down.

"I was angry, but not at Dan. At least not at first. Kay told him I was in therapy. She called later and I blew up at her." I confessed looking nervously at my therapist.

She made a note and nodded at me to continue. "Dan was...he just wanted me to revert back to what we had before." Quinn scoffed and I hurriedly added. "I told him it wasn't going to happen. I told him I loved you, Quinn."

My therapist was scribbling fast, but paused when I said the "l-word" to Quinn. The tension in Quinn's body melted away and he brought my hand up to his lips. "I love you too, Joyce."

"Is this issue with Dan resolved in your opinion, Joyce?" My therapist interjected.

I sighed. "I don't know. At the start of the conversation, he told me that he was engaged but was considering breaking it off because he was still in love with me. I shut down the idea of me changing my mind. Told him I was with Quinn. He...he tried to make me second guess my feelings."

"That fucker..." Quinn growled.

"How did you leave the conversation?" My therapist pushed through Quinn's agitation.

"I told him that I wasn't sticking around to hear him disparage my relationship and I told him to go back to his fiancée. Then I revised that and said she didn't deserve to be his second choice. He tried to stop me but I left. I almost called you after hours. It was a rough day." I admitted.