Seeking Escape

37. Speechless

*** Joyce's POV ***

Dan made small talk and hailed the waitress over. He ordered a double of scotch and gestured to my glass. "Another?"

I hadn't drank since he appeared but at his offer, I nodded my head and nearly chugged down the half glass that I still had. I couldn't believe that Kay had done this to me again. I was irritated. "So how exactly did this whole little plan come to pass?"

"I tried calling back that night that we talked. I thought it was your number. I think Kay felt sorry for me because she let me talk things out with her." He at least had the decency to look a little ashamed. "Don't be too hard on her."

"She had no right, Dan. And you didn't either. I told you what I could." I snapped.

"She answered some of my questions, which helped some more. I just...Joyce, I can't imagine what you've been through. Kay says you've been in therapy and made a lot of progress." He shared.

"I have." I confirmed. I wanted to fucking strangle Kay for sharing my business, but I couldn't take it out on Dan. He did nothing wrong.

"I understand why you didn't call right away, but had you thought about it since?" He asked.

I swallowed my guilt. "I thought about you every so often. I hoped that you had found a girl deserving of your love. But to be honest, I had to shut away everything that reminded me of that time. The good with the bad."

"You were always deserving of my love, Car...Joyce. You never stopped being worthy even if you were made to feel less so." He revealed with earnest sincerity.

I didn't know how to respond to that. He looked away. "I...I'm engaged."

My jaw dropped and I exclaimed. "That's wonderful!"

He rolled his gaze back to me. "I think I need to break it off."

God, this conversation was like a fucking rollercoaster ride as my stomach dropped. I was afraid to ask, but couldn't seem to help it. "Why?"

"It's not fair to her. I'm in love with you, Joyce. The only reason that I moved on, and after quite some time, was because I thought you were dead." He admitted.

Again, I was speechless. He shouldn't still love me. He couldn't. I shook my head as he reached across the table to grasp my hands. "You can't. I'm not that person anymore."

I could tell he was frustrated by my words and me pulling away from him. "Since I don't know what you went through, I can't speak to any of that. But you're still my Caroline. You may go by a different name and look a little older, but you're still you underneath. I love you and I want a chance to show you that you still love me too."

"You're engaged. I'm in a relationship." I insisted, shaking my head.

He shifted toward me and my breath caught. I didn't know if I was scared or what. His eyes blazed with intensity. He'd grown up, that's for sure. Before I always saw him as the boy I had grown up with, but some time apart and life experience had morphed him into a man. A man that was going after what he wanted in life, and apparently I was still a part of that equation.

"Joyce, we were meant to be. Regardless of the current circumstances. Let me show you." He rasped, moving in so close that his warm breath ghosted my skin, sending an involuntary shiver through me.

He started to tilt his head, coming in hot, boldly thinking he had won. I abruptly stopped his progress, putting my hands solidly into his chest. "Stop, Dan. I'm in love with Quinn."