Seeking Escape

10. Tremendous Strides

*** Joyce's POV ***

My therapist was enthralled by my turn of events.  Although her role was as a non-judgmental sounding board, she swelled with pride about my successful first chat with Quinn.

"You made tremendous strides, Joyce. How did you feel afterward?" She invited me to reflect.

"Confident. Desired. Safe." I shared without hesitation.

"And why do you think you felt that way?" She probed further.

"Quinn made sure I did. He doesn't even know my past, but it's just who he is, I think. He opened up to me. He was protective when Neil showed up unannounced. He was willing to have another hokey video chat date because I thought I needed it." I laid it all out. It made me realize just how much I liked Quinn Matthews after one chat.

"We're going to cycle back to Neil, but I want to stay on what is going on with Quinn. You mentioned in your message that there had been a bump in the road?" My therapist prompted.

"Yes." I explained what had happened on his show and my immediate survival instinct to shut him out altogether.

"And did you feel content once you had effectively blocked him from further contact?" My therapist asked.

I chewed my lip nervously. "Not exactly."

She nodded. "Put it into words, Joyce. How did you feel?"

"Miserable. Let down. Lost...like I had written an entire story, but forgot to save my work and lost everything." I felt my heart sting as I put words to my disappointment. I told her about my fight with Kay.

"How did Kay's read of the situation sit with you?" My therapist asked.

"Kay has seen me at my worst, but this was different." I said, shifting uncomfortably.

"How so?"

"I felt like I deserved her critique. And I know I responded defensively." I replied. "Then the flowers arrived."

"Flowers from..."

"Quinn." I whispered. I was still in disbelief. I know I hadn't told him where I worked. I wasn't in any public staff directories. Not after what happened. I was both horrified and intrigued that he had somehow tracked me down.

"And how did you react to the flowers?" My therapist likely knew my thoughts already.

"I first wondered how he had found me because I'm very careful." I said, my voice shaking.

"I know you are." She acknowledged.

"But then I was kind of flattered that he was persisting. His card said that he originally planned to bring the flowers himself, but he didn't want to freak me out. He barely knows me, yet he sees me. He...he asked for another chance to redeem himself." I relayed.

"And where are you at on that idea?" She followed-up and I could swear she was holding her breath in anticipation of my words. I almost laughed, realizing just how dramatic this whole ordeal came across.

"I want to see him again." I replied in a small voice. "And I think I want to meet him. Face to face."

She stilled. I think she was getting her bearings. But then her face broke into a smile. "Joyce. This is real progress."