Continuation of If/Then

Part 4

Meredith quickly walked into the hospital trying to avoid the red head starring at her.

"Why haven't you taken Alex back?"

"Why would I? Why do you care?"

"Because he clearly isn't interested in me. He is still in love with you."

"Was he still in love with me when he was fucking you in his office?"

April grabbed her hand. "Please just. We are both really sorry. Can we please just go back to the way it used to be, minus the Alex fucking me in the office part?"

"No April. I am done. With the both of you."

"Oh come on. You will have to forgive me at some point."

"I have forgiven you."

"Oh so... we are friends again."

"We are good. No bad blood. Perfectly square. 5 by 5. But we are not friends. And probably never will be." Meredith swiftly walked away.

Later that day, Meredith walked into the cafeteria and sat down next to Derek.

"I had a really really really good time with you last night. Best date I think I have ever been on."

"Oh really?"

"Yes! It's not every date that I get to knee my ex in the dick."

Cristina plopped her food down across from them, "So it's true? You hit Alex in his little Alex."

Derek winced a bit, "Yea, it looked quite painful."

Meredith replied a bit defensively, "Well I don't think it was as painful as you are imagining it. I mean I am assuming any experience you would have with getting hit down there would be significantly more painful cause yours is so much big-"

Meredith cut herself off and turned red. Derek beamed with pride and Cristina choked on her drink.

"So little Alex is the right term?" Derek asked smiling.

"Alex's little Alex is perfectly average." Meredith said dryly.

"How much smaller." Derek asked.

"Alex is average and you know how big you are so you can figure it out yourself."

"Oh come on, I want to know?" Cristina whined.

"But you never will." Derek said sternly.

Derek then turned to Meredith and said, "Well this has been fascinating lunch conversation but I have to go, want to go to Joe's tonight?"

"Sure, I am off at 8 so I can meet you there then." Meredith said as Derek leaned down and kissed her on top of her head.

After Derek walked away Cristina leaned in. "Really how much bigger is it?"

Meredith giggled, "I am not going to tell you. But lets just say I am very much so looking forward to the next time we-"

Just as she was about to finish her sentence, Addison walked by, "Dr. Grey, would you like the rest of my leftovers?" she said offering her tray.

"Well you did leave it half eaten, all that delicious food just couldn't satisfy you huh. Though I am sure you will go somewhere else to eat." Meredith retorted.

"Dr. Shepherd, well I guess its not Montgomery. How big IS the other Dr. Shepherds penis? Meredith here is the only other person who knows and she refuses to tell me." Cristina said confidently.

"Dr. Yang. How dare you ask me about my husbands-"

"Ex-husband" Meredith corrected.

"Well legally he still is my husband." 

"But emotionally he is with someone else entirely. And from what he has told me, he has been emotionally with someone else for a long while." 

Addison glared and walked away. Both Cristina and Meredith start to laugh hysterically.

"That was amazing" Meredith said. "I can't believe you her about his penis."

"Well I was serious about that one. I really want to know."

"Maybe some day I will tell you as a thank you. But that day is not today."

Cristina replied, "Damn, I pissed off an attending for nothing."

"Oh I think the look on her face was pretty worth it, don't you."

"Yea it definitely was."

Meredith walked into the bar at 8 and found Derek sitting at the bar. "So I don't think I will be becoming friends with you ex-wife any time soon."

"Why, did you knee her down there too?" He asked hopefully.

"No, I may have commented about how she liked to go elsewhere for her 'satisfaction' and Cristina may have implied that we are sleeping together."

"You and Cristina are sleeping together?" Derek asked.

"No, me and you."

"Well do you want to make it true?"

"Definitely"

Derek payed Joe, then Meredith grabbed Derek's hand and pulled him out of the bar.