Continuation of If/Then

Part 16

Alex ran into the elevator to find himself in a confined box alone with Derek Shepherd.

"Hey man."

Derek scoffed.

"You know, me and Meredith are good." 

"I am sure you are." Derek replied quietly.

"What does that mean?"

Derek gulped heavily. He had to remind himself that his girlfriend was most likely not having sex with this man, and if he accused Alex of doing so he would be breaking a promise he made to her.

"It's fine. We are fine. Don't worry about it." Derek said quickly and left the elevator.

There was a large hospital meeting happening in the main lobby and a dense crowd was forming at the bottom of the staircase. Derek quickly found Meredith and went to stand next next to her.

"Hey can we talk about something?" Derek asked timidly.

"Sure, after the announcement."

"Do you know what the announcement is?"

"No idea. Maybe she is firing all of us."

The group of residents next to them, after hearing this, all turned a pale green.

Derek chuckled a bit and leaned into Meredith, "You're mean."

"Yea-"

She was cut off by the deafening silence that accrued when her mother stepped up to the podium.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, I would like to announce that I will be leaving Seattle Grace. I have turned in my resignation letter and will be gone by the start of the next month."

There was a lot of whispers and a few muffled cheers. Derek turned to Meredith questioning and Meredith shook her head to show that she didn't know anything about this. She grabbed his hand and tangled her fingers with his.

"I will now be accepting applications for the position of chief of surgery. Thank you and get back to work." 

Meredith and Derek turned around and started to walk away from the crowd.

"Is she retiring?" Derek asked.

"That doesn't sound like her. She probably is just switching hospitals."

"Will Richard go with her."

"I mean probably. This is huge! I have never not been under my mothers thumb."

Derek grinned at her.

"Oh hey, what did you want to talk to me about."

The grin on Derek's face slipped away.

"That bad?"

"Umm yea." He replied as they walked into an empty conference room.

"I think I lied to you when I said there wasn't another shoe."

"Oh. So you are still mad at me?"

"No I am not mad at you."

"You just don't trust me?"

Derek looked at her guiltily. "Yea."

"That makes sense. I don't completely trust me either."

"It's just. When I see you do something like you did yesterday and I-"

"What did I do yesterday?"

"You-" he looked at the ground in shame. "You walked out of an on-call room that Alex was in."

Meredith laughed a little. "I promise you, I did not have sex with Alex."

"I know. In my head, I know you didn't. But when I saw you, I just couldn't help but think."

"Derek-" She said as she lifted his chin to look at her. "If you even have a question about what I was doing. Just ask me."

"I don't want you to have to explain your actions all the time."

"I cheated on you. You have to right to ask me about time I spend alone with men."

He gave her a queasy look at the phrase , 'time I spend alone with men.' Seeing his queasiness, she pulled him in for a comforting hug.

"Do you think I will ever get past this?"

"Yes. I do. Is there anything I can do to help you get past this sooner?"

Derek paused for a second. "You could marry me."

Meredith pulled away from him and gave him a sad, guilty look. "No Derek. We can't get married because you think it's a way to stop me from cheating on you."

Derek looked hurt.

"I love you, and at some point it would make me so happy to marry you. But we need to get married because we love each other and want to build a future together."

"You're right."

He agreed with her yet, he did love her and want to build a future with her. He wanted to love her and cherish her and help her and protect her for the rest of their lives. And he decided that as soon as he got past his ridiculous fears, he would tell her that.