Continuation of If/Then

Untitled Part 11

"So has anyone asked about the arm?"

"Yes." he said a bit embarrassed.

"Well?"

"Well what?"

"Well part of the reason one would want to randomly shave your arm is to hear the fun stories of you having awkward conversations about said arm."

"Fine, a scrub nurse accidentally brushed against it, gave me a weird look and asked if I had recently had surgery on my arm."

Meredith giggled, "Anyone else."

"Hunt and I were having a long conversation and he kept on staring at my arm."

Meredith laughed hysterically.

"Well now you know not to let skanky fellows kiss you."

"I am not sure if she was skanky."

"Derek?"

"Yes?"

"What are you doing?"

"What?"

"You just got back into my good graces."

"and"

"Don't defend the skanky fellow!"

Derek put his hands up. "There will be no more defending.... unless-"

Meredith hit him.

"Stop hitting me!"

"Stop defending skanky fellow!"

"I wasn't going to defend fellow!

Meredith raised her eyebrow at him.

"I was GOING to say before you rudely hit me, that there will be no more defending unless I am defending you."

"Oh.. well.. that's ok I guess."

"Hmm you guess. Now we need to talk about the hitting."

"What about it."

"Stop doing it."

"Stop doing things that make me want to hit you."

"You know Addison never hit me."

She hit him again,

"Ow!"

"Oh you are fine, and you had to know that was coming."

Derek grinned at her.

"We should get a dog." Derek said after they had been quiet for a few minutes.

"You're a dog"

"Meredith that was rude."

"It was true."

"Meredith. I don't know how many times I have to tell you that I am a human being."

"So not a dog?" Meredith feigned confusion.

"So not a dog. You can tell I am not a dog because I don't have a tail."

"Ahh, there I disagree. You have a great tail." She said while smirking.

"That is true." Derek said grinning. "But seriously, lets get a dog."

"Derek we are moving to an apartment."

"We don't need to get an apartment. We can get a house... and a dog.... and a dog-walker."

"But you are building me a house."

"I will buy you a house AND build you a house."

"Shouldn't we just rent?"

"No. Renting is for wimps."

Meredith pulled away from him, "What!!? What does that even mean?"

"Renting is easy, its the safe option, there is no risk."

"Why the hell do you need risk while you are looking for a place to live."

"Life is an adventure Meredith."

"You are a stupid stupid man," she said while shaking her head.

"That may be, but people still let me cut into their brains so I must be doing something right."

"Fine"

"So you agree that I am doing something right!?"

"Fine you can buy me a house and a dog and a dog walker."

"Oh that's good too!"

"We can go to the pound tomorrow and figure out how to get a dog."

"We can name it Meredith!" Derek said excitedly 

Meredith gave him a bazaar look.

"Derek. That's my name."

" I know"

"So why do you want to name a dog after me??"

"Cause it will be cute like you and I will only have to remember one name."

Meredith hit him once again.

"I deserved that."

"Yes you did."

(For everyone's sake I am keeping this short. It's almost 2 am and I think my humor might be broken. So to save the story from turning super duper weird, I am making it half as long as I usually do. But tomorrow I have absolutely nothing to do and I plan on skipping all my classes. Maybe I will go to one. I should probably go to one. But anyways. I will try to post a couple times tomorrow. Sorry for being super weird. I hope at least it's funny)