Fox and Butterfly (177013)

Chapter 12

Freedom

"Mommy....

Mommy ... mommy!"

"Huh?" Saki said, her eyes suddenly widening, waking up after hearing her little daughter's calls...

She seemed to have fallen asleep for a while. Her head still seemed quite aching...

Hana stood in front of her and held a kitten, while Saki was sitting on the park bench. "What's up? You were spacing out again?" Hana asked her mother. The little girl was not surprised, this was not the first time her mother had been like that.

Saki didn't reply, she still felt a little tired. Her mind was not completely stable yet...

"You okay?" Hana continued to ask worriedly after seeing her mother in a daze. "Are you hurt?"

"Am I hurt?" Saki thought and looked up at the sky, Hana's question reminded her of the dark days in her past. The days when both of her soul and body were cruelly tortured without mercy. Sadness flashed in her eyes...

But after a brief moment, Saki remembered that she had gone through all those terrible days. All were just the past. It was over long ago...

"Oh, no. I was just thinking about something from long ago". Saki gently smiled and replied to her daughter. She decided to leave all those painful memories behind.

Hana asked back in surprise. "Long ago?" She was quite curious about what had happened to her mother.

"Yes, from before you were born, Hana." her mother replied and smiled gently.

Hana quickly sat down next to Saki and placed the cute kitten on her lap, petting it. "Really? Was it fun back then?" she asked curiously to her mother. She knew her mother went through a big change in her youth, but Hana doesn't know exactly what happened.

"It was hard ..." Saki looked up at the vast sky with her blue eyes. Painful memories flashed through her mind like a short movie. Though it had been a while, those memories still hadn't faded at all, as if it had just happened to her a few days ago...

"See, I ... didn't like myself," Saki replied sadly. Back then, she had changed so much that she couldn't even recognize herself. It was so hard for her to picture the sweet and innocent girl that she used to be.

"Why not?" Hana continued to ask. To Hana, Saki was her beloved mother. She always took care of her, gave her loving hugs every day. Mommy was the nicest person she has ever met. Why could she hate herself?

"I'm not sure". Saki let out a sigh, then looked down sadly. She didn't even know why she hated herself so much. She just remembered that she wants to change. She desired to be a part of this fun, bright world. She was afraid of being left alone by everyone...

"Maybe I just never found something to value in life..." Saki replied sadly, her eyes suddenly darkening. Those lonely days kept coming back in her nightmare, haunting her every night, like a melancholy ghost that couldn't escape her mind. "I cried a lot."

Apparently, Hana could feel the sorrow deep down in her mother's bright, blue eyes. She knew tears were about to roll down her mother's cheeks. She didn't know what happened, but she does know for sure that her mother has gone through a tough time.

"I see ..." Hana said then gently placed her hand on her mother's head and patted it. "But it's okay now, you don't have to cry, mommy." She tried to comfort Saki. Hana didn't want to see her mother cry anymore. She just wanted her mother to be happy. That is the only wish from an innocent child.