Can I become human?

I still haven't changed

She was gone and I was all alone in my room. After all that happened today, I could finally get what I wanted. I got to know that I had a loving family but I do not care about that one bit. I felt no empathy for that man, no sign of a pain in my heart as people say. I did not feel any affection to the woman who called herself my mother. I do not care about them at all. When the man was emotionally weak and breaking down in front of me, I made sure that my freedom is now guaranteed. I am no longer abided by his order, no longer have to go back to the white room and do what I want.

This was perfect. I got what I wanted and I also got powerful allies on my side now there is no way I am going to lose, there never was a way for me to. The day I decided to abandon my emotion was the day I stopped loosing. The only reason I am trying to learn them back is pure curiosity. Will having my emotions back really make me weak? I knew I was emotionally the weakest in the fourth generation. When I let go of them, I became the best in my generation and called the god of the white room. So I wonder what will happen to this "god" when he gets his emotions back.

Lying on my bed, I decided to sleep as I was not hungry but still ate something already as it was not a good thing to sleep without having dinner.

After that the days as if flew by. I did not have anything planned to do so I was just roaming around exploring Chiba. I once got into a fight with some delinquents which I tried not to get physical but had to when they pulled out their knives. The woman used to come meet me once every week. She used to talk about how hard it was for her.

"I always looked at you from the one-sided glass. It was as if you were just in my reach but also too far away at the same time. I saw the videos of you laughing happily, helping other and I was so happy. When I saw you cry when your training started, sad is not even enough to explain how I felt. I felt like killing myself for agreeing to keep you in that place."

This was all that she used to tell me. Also some questions here and there,

"How was your school life in your older school?"

"I did enjoy it."

"Did you make friends?"

"Yes, I also had a group called the Ayanokouji group."

"Oh wow. My boy was really famous in school. Now the main question. Serious one," she said as her face had a serious expression on her face.

"Did you make a girlfriend?"

That is supposed to be a serious question? Then I told her about Kei. From how beautiful she was and how fun it was to tease her to how I blackmailed her when we first had a proper conversation. Looking me talk intently about her gave her a kind smile. She really loved talking to me and this was the longest I talked to her about something. She was a little disappointed that we hadn't kissed yet. She looked at me with a look which said, "Grow up son" even though most of the time I was the one acting as a grown up.

Today was the last day of summer and I decided to stay at home. Then my second semester will start in my new school. Who knows what all new things would happen to me. During the afternoon, my phone vibrated. I checked it to see a message from that woman. She sent me some VIP passes to watching a firework show along with the location. I got some extra passes to invite my friend. A fireworks show? I did not decide to do anything so I guess I might as well just go.

In the evening, I wore some better cloths than I normally did in my house. I don't know why but I had made this strange habit of being shirtless most of the time. It feel really good. After getting in my clothes, I closed the door behind me and locked it. As soon as I did I heard the door beside me unlock. I looked over to see the black-haired doll with blue eyes staring at me. She looked really tired. If I remembered, she was also called by her mother. I nodded my head in greeting and started walking but I was soon stopped.