✮-loop-✮ // DNF

~1

Words: 1098
TW: Homophobia, bullying, s*icide thoughts

I will not be including the f-slur in this for reasons, even though I can say it.

Just another boring day, raining. You could hear the droplets fall down onto the window.  It filled George with satisfaction. He sat there on this window sill staring out of the window. He stood up slowly going to grab a pen and a sketch book. He sat back down, trying to get comfy. He couldn't. Its stressed him out a lot.

George was emotional at any small thing. It was hard for him. He felt small drops of tears go down his cheeks. He couldn't deal with himself like this anymore. It was hard, very. He just wanted to go in his favourite place, and peacefully just die there. Act like he didn't ever exist. 

He wiped off his tears and looked at the clock. It was 5:47am, he grabbed a hoodie and sweatpants and put them on. His eyes were puffy and red. He had enough, but he couldn't. He thought of his parents, they left him when they found of he was gay. George was heartbroken. Since from that time he had no contact with any of his family including his favourite sister, his best friend.

He grabbed his bag. He checked everything was there. He was missing something, his favourite plushie. It may seem like George is acting like a little kid, even though he might be. This teddy reminded him of memories with his sister. She was the one who gave him it. It would always be by George's side. Before walking out of the door, George looked at himself in the mirror and dropped a tear.

Trying to hide his tears, he walked up the stairs in his apartment reaching the rooftop. He went near the edge where he always sat. It calmed him down, always. 

(Play the song now)

George, took out his teddy cuddling it. He kissed it and put in down gently aside of him. He started to write down random thoughts that he wanted to get of his head. George had many addictions, one of them was constantly biting his nails. It was also another thing that helped him from stressing out.

He watched over the edge. Seeing cars go by, hearing police cars. He had a feeling in his body telling him to jump. But he couldn't, it was too hard.

The teddy fell over and George put it back up where it sat. He wished that he could live his dream life. Watch the sunset with his boyfriend, drive around at midnight screaming out songs and vibing. And his other wish was not to get bullied, he wished people didn't care if he was gay or not, its not there problem. 

With tears falling down his face again, he ripped up the paper he just wrote on and threw it off the rooftop. It hurt him, but he knew it was for the best. He always tried to get rid off his bad thoughts and try to move on. Wiping his flood of tears off his face, he took out his phone looking at the time. It was 6:53am.

(You can stop playing the song now if you want)

George didn't always go to college because of the bullying, but today he decided he would go. He didn't feel better than always, but he knew he had to be more energetic to achieve what he wanted. Packing his pen and notebook, he stood up and walked down the stairs leading him to the very bottom of the apartment.

He could feel like he forgot something, he quickly stood up realising he left his teddy on the very top of the apartment. He ran up the stairs sobbing. He really had no reason to cry over it, but he couldn't stop his feelings from going down. 

As he reached the top, he ran around the corner grabbing his teddy.

"I'm so sorry." He mumbled to the teddy while tears running down his face. He hugged it and placed it back in his bag gently.

He checked the time again and it was 7:14am he was going to be late. He ran down the stairs, faster than ever. He tripped a bit but he got himself up again and carried on running down. He called himself a taxi to drive him to college. It was running a bit late so, he just decided to walk.

Arriving about 5 minutes late, George burst into the school. He heavily signed and walked into his lesson. He looked a mess. His eyes were red from crying, his hair was messier than always and he was panting.

The teacher looked at the door confused. She was one of George's favourite teachers, only because she understood everything George has been through. The teacher smiled at George, she was proud he came in. Looking down at the ground, George sat down in his seat. He signed taking out his book and a pen.

He hated this class, only because the people who bully him are there. He slowly looked around to the find them. Instead, he spotted someone else. He fell in love first sight.

His fluffy dirty blonde hair, his perfect green eyes. His smile was everything. He couldn't take his eyes of him, he already felt a tension between them both by just staring at him. He got distracted by one of his bullies throwing something at him. 

George quickly turned around trying to ignore it. He saw and it was a paper ball. He hesitated while unwrapping it. As soon as he saw what is said, he burst into tears silently. It said in messy handwriting:

'Go die you (f-slur) 
nobody wants you here useless'.

Trying to cover his face he packed his stuff and ran out of the classroom. He was fed up, of everything. Running out, he could hear giggling. 

Hearing his sniffing broke him even more. He ran into the bathroom and locked himself up in a cubical. He took out his teddy and cuddled it to feel better, but it didn't work. Sitting on the toilet seat, he heard the bathroom door open. 

"H-hey um are you okay?" Said an unknown voice, he sounded concerned.

Even hearing the unknown persons voice, George slightly blushed. It stood silent for a minute, you could only hear George crying and sniffing up his tears.

"I know your there please open the door, I want to try and help." The voice really did seem concerned. Signing, George opened the door.

George sniffing, he looked up. He dropped his teddy of shock..