✮-loop-✮ // DNF

~20

Words: 936
TW: s*icidal thoughts, mentions of s*lf harm 
(I cant be asked to write everything I had planned I'm so sorry but ill try. The next chapter is going to be sad hopefully so get some tissues ready ig <3) 

"Thank you, I can't remember the last time I had so much fun." George teared up a bit. He was so happy and thankful. 

"Of course." Clay pulled him into a deep but loving hug. George hugged him back in less than a second. He loves Clay so much it's unreal. George placed his head on Clay's chest while hugging him. He listened to every heartbeat of his. It was so calming in every way. Clay pulled away and looked down at George. He smiled at him. 

"Let's go open your presents." Clay said leading George inside. They both went into the living room. Everyone was already there sitting on the floor holding presents. 

"C'mon I've waited for this ALL DAY." Sapnap said excited. George rolled his eyes playfully and sat down, Clay followed on. 

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"Thank you guys for all of the stuff you really didn't have to." George started crying while looking at all of his presents. 

"There is still one more left." Clay added on. He smiled and pulled out a black small box. He placed it in George's hands. George looked over to Clay thanking him. He slowly started untying the ribbon from the box.  With caution, George opened the box to reveal a beautiful necklace. A silver heart necklace. George opened the little heart to see a tiny picture of him and Clay together. George couldn't help but burst into tears. 

Clay wrapped his arms around the smaller boy pulling him into a hug. George held the necklace while letting out small sobs into Clay's shoulder. 

"I- I don't even know what to say.. j-just thank y-you." George looked up at Clay and then everyone else. Clay took the necklace out of George's hands. He turned him over so his back faced Clay. George blushed a little. Clay put on the necklace around George's delicate neck. He clipped it and rubbed his neck. He smiled at himself.  

George turned back around to Clay with tears in his eyes. He smiled. 

"LETS GO WE ARE POPPING OFF!" Alex interrupted the silence. Soon enough Karl and Sapnap joined in with him. George laughed at there energy. 

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He started breathing heavily. Everything is going so well, why. George locked himself in the bathroom with tears running down his face. 

I'm so stupid 
What is wrong with me!   
My life is so messed up.  

Tears fell onto the ground soon causing small tear puddles. His mind starts telling him disgusting things. Stupid things. 

He will never love you 
Don't even try 
Kill yourself  
It's for the best. 

He tried to stay quiet while crying. His hands slapped over his face, he started crying into his hands. They were covered in his tears. George  wiped them across his shirt and stared at himself in the mirror. Eyes blood red, eye bags covering everything. Maybe George did sleep pretty well for the past few days. But that didn't stop him from crying and letting all of his emotions out.

Maybe I should do it, 
Maybe I should die. 

He sniffled trying to be quiet. He didn't know what to feel, he didn't know how to anymore. It was a misery, his life had turned into a misery. He rolled his sleeve up to reveal hit cuts. Most of them were healed. George was so tempted but he remembered what happened last time. It wasn't good. Even though it might help him relieve, it wouldn't help him mentally.

I want to talk about it, 
Damn it 
I want to scream. 
I want to yell. 
I want to shout about it and let everyone know, 
But all I can do is whisper   
And say "I'm fine." 

Why is it so hard. 

More tears flew down his face. This is what love caused him. Pain. Everything hurt. His bones felt weak just like he was about to collapse. He was completely stressing out and rethinking everything that is happening or has happened.

Deal with it. 

He signed wiping the tears from his face. You could see some small tears stained on his face but he decided to ignore those.  

Slowly, he turned the door knob and walked out of the bathroom into his room. He started rummaging through his suitcase throwing random clothes onto the floor. He picked up a jumper and sweatpants. He was such a mess.  He wasn't even bothered to go shower or take care of himself properly. All he wanted to do is fall asleep and never wake up. And maybe that's what he will do.

George changed into his clothes and fell onto the bed. Many thoughts scattered around his brain. All he could do now is just sleep hoping not to wake up. He fiddled with his necklace. The thoughts of this made him cry. He was all alone, nobody even came to check up on him. He was left alone with his stupid feelings and thoughts.

I think I'm going to do it.

It's for the best,

I'm sorry.

He forced himself to stand up. George looked through his room to find a pen and paper. Tears fell down his face falling onto the floor. After a minute of looking he found a pencil and a notebook. He ripped a piece of paper out of it and sat back onto the bed. His quiet sobs filled the room. 

This is the end.