╔════◈◉◈════╗ Seven ╚════◈◉◈════╝ Tw: paranoia, anxiety, depressive episode, mentions of sickness and death
I didn't know it was morning until the sun shone through my blinds. My eyes had trouble adjusting to the sudden burst of light at first, but once blinking a couple times the slight sting melted away. I hadn't gotten a blink of rest, even If I really wanted to, my subconscious wouldn't let me.
Opposite to the night before, where my mind had been filled to the brim with thoughts. Now my head stood empty, still, numb.
This wasn't unusual, for me to shut out everyone and everything. I was a lonely person yet couldn't seek out new relationships. The trip from a two months ago was exhilarating, mainly because there was all these new people I had never met before. But the sad part that I denied to be true was that I enjoyed socializing with the new people.
As I sat, cradled against my bedroom wall, I made the poor decision to reflect on my life. Which never ended well for me,
From when I was born, my parents were the best. My Mom and Dad were always supportive of me and my doings. I remember when I was younger, kids would be jealous of our family. My parents both had good average paying jobs, we lived in a regular neighborhood, with a regular house, and a regular family.
Our family was happy, we would go on regular vacations, and eat dinner together every night, things were perfect.
Yet, my mom got sick. Fast. In months, she was gone.
But that wasn't even the hard part, my dad had fully gone into a depressive episode. Shutting people out, refusing to leave his room, etc.
Sounds kinda familiar.
I didn't get to fully grieve my mom because my dad determined on me, months went by, and he had barely spoken a sentence to anyone.
I had learned to pay bills and make good excuses for when the neighbors came to check up on us. I learned basic cooking as well, as my grades went down, my living skills advanced. School was nearly out of the picture at this point. I was surprised I passed my sophomore year, let alone my junior and senior after that.
Midway through junior year, I was doing what I had done every day, make breakfast for my dad before I left for school.
When I went into his room, I didn't expect a letter explaining how he was "going to be away for some time" and that I "shouldn't worry"
Shortly, I had temporarily been under the care of Ranboo's parents, who were very caring and thoughtful. But that had only lasted a year or so, in that time, I got my grades up, even enough to apply to college. My dad never came back, which I slightly expected.
And here I was, nearly 4 years after my dad left, which felt weird to say since it hasn't felt like much time. It might have been my quiet way of living,
All of my life I had isolated myself as much as possible, and I was fine I with it.
"Iris?" Ranboo's voice echoed through my apartment, I flinched at the sudden volume.
"Iris?" He repeated, this time I felt the familiar creak of the door open,
"thank god" he rushed over to me as I stayed in the same position as I had the past couple hours. He hesitated on how to approach this situation for a moment, because it seemed as I hadn't even acknowledged his arrival at all.
"oh Iris" he sighed after a couple seconds, sitting down against the wall beside me.
"you ok?" he nudged me slightly, I kept my chin tucked into my knees staring at the opposite wall silently.
"do you want tooooo" Ranboo looked around the room as he extended his words playfully.
"eat food?" he suggested, I shook my head just barely.
"ok we'll eat later then—but you have to eat eventually" he noted,
"maybeee we cannnnn, watch a movie?" Ranboo turned to me grinning, I returned a slight smile before nodding.
After moving to the couch, my eyes stalled at my phone for a couple seconds. Ranboo noticed and quickly swiped it from its spot.
"don't worry about it right now" He smiled before turning on Netflix.
