A beautiful mistake

Chapter one

My life is normal... I guess. Apart from having six siblings that I have to take care of all by myself.
My mama you ask? Do I even dare call her that? She had me as a baby and didn't even want to look at me. She didn't even hold me so the rumor goes and so I'm reminded every scarring day. I don't even know my mamas first name.
My daddy? Well I don't even want to call him that. He doesn't deserve it. When my mama was fifteen she was raped by my daddy, she didn't want to keep me but her being christian and all didn't want to abort me. So she had me, didn't even ask the gender and sent me off to an orphanage.
I've had a pretty messed up childhood. I was born to young so they thought I'd have a disability, they thought I wouldn't make it either.
First they said I wouldn't make it a week. I survived, then they said a month. I pulled through... Then they said six months. I persevered through it all. I have proved every doctor wrong.
After ten years of being raised in the orphanage, watching my friends and what I consider family leave and never come back I was already messed up. To far to come back to comfort.
I had been torn away from every single attachment or bond I made.
I always wondered why I was never loved. Was it because I was a rape baby? Was it because i wasn't planned or because she didn't want this demon living inside of her. Is that why mama sent me away?
All I knew was that the people in this orphanage didn't care about you either, you are basically dust on a shelf to every person living here. They don't care about your existence.
When I was ten I was sent off to my first foster family. The man there was really mean. He left bruises on his wife's body and even attempted to lay a hand on me. After being held in a shed for two days with no water or food I was practically almost dead. I guess that was what he was hoping for. He never wanted a child, he just wanted a punching bag. One to take his anger out on when he beat his wife to bad and she had to rest.
The tall people in suits and ties came there one day. They where here for the weekly check up. when the man said I had ran away they checked the house. Almost left the shed unchecked if the wife hadn't stepped up and told them. They whisked me away from there and I was plopped back into another orphanage.
I don't know what happened to that man. I was to oblivious to know what was going on around me. All I knew was he inflicted pain on me.
Then when I was twelve I was sent off to another foster family. This man had four children, all girls. This man was a little too sweet. He liked to touch them and hug them constantly he was always trying to touch me too. He'd bribe me with pretty dresses and food but once he got me in that room... There was no going back... The door was soundly locked.
By the end of the day when us girls are all used and broken we'd sit in our rooms cuddled together and cry while he yelled at his wife. He'd ask for more beer and when she wouldn't give it to him he'd freak out.
When the officials came he made sure not a scratch on my body was showing. He didn't hurt us physically... He hurt us mentally and emotionally.
The officials let me stay for a little while longer and he always was so nice to me even though there where countless times when he would touch me in a way I didn't want to be touched. I'd tell him no but he kept going... He kept touching me... I didn't like it... I didn't like that my body responded to it... I didn't like that it felt good... And I didn't like that he'd ignore my pleas for help.
But he'd always make it up at the end of the day buying me something nice. When the officials came for the monthly check up they saw i walked with a limp. He did it a little to hard last night and it hurt really bad. I was bruised everywhere... From the finger prints on my waist to the bruising around my thighs.
When they asked me what happened I simply told them the truth.
"Daddy went a little to hard last night, he said that he didn't mean to but he was smiling the whole time..." I said my eyes welling up with tears. And then me and the four girls where pulled away once again and back into the home sweet home orphanage.
Me and the girls where pretty close friends. We all had something in common... We all where a little broken and abused.
By the age of 14 I was placed into a family. They where nice people. The woman couldnt bare a child so they went through with adoption.
I would have liked it there if I knew better. Since everytime I was placed into a foster family they always hurt me. I was scared of them so i shadowed away like a coward. I wouldn't let them touch me or brush my hair or bath me. Finally it got to out of hand and they sent me back complaining I wasn't normal... But they didn't know the pain I had suffered through... They didn't understand my past. And I didn't blame them... I was a freak
By the next month another family was interested. The father was nice, and the wife was two, they had five kids at home and they adopted me and my younger "sister" Ruby. She was one of the girls that was touched by her father a lot.
I stayed there without any complaints. But soon when I was sixteen the wife died. She had cancer and when she died our "happy" family crumbled down like an old brick wall.
The dad turned into an abusive drunk who sat on the couch all day and sometimes went out and brought home a girl. They would get it on in the bedroom making me and the six little kids hear everything. One time when little joy was crying from the upstairs making noises the dad stormed down stairs and slapped me for not taking control and shutting the child up.
I learned to take the abuse because of I didn't one of the younger kids would and I couldn't have that. So now I'm eighteen working a job I hate, dropped out of highschool and acting like a single parent.
David (the dad) was barely home so I didn't really have to worry about the abuse as much. Besides if I turned up with a bruise I would just cover it up with a long sleeve.
And that is the background of my life. Now let's get on with the rest of my life.