𝘱𝘴, 𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘺𝘰𝘶 » 𝘻𝘢𝘳𝘳𝘺 (𝘥𝘪𝘴𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘶𝘦𝘥)

chapter fifty five

Harry

After departing with Zayn and going back home with the guys, I was feeling nervous. I know that I shouldn't, because these were my very best friends, my teammates, the people that I trust more than anyone. But, I couldn't help but feel anxious about talking with them. The atmosphere in the Tower have been so tense lately, and things have been rocky. Especially things between Liam and I. There's always issues with the two of us, no matter where the problem lies.

Liam's always angry about something, most of that anger directed towards me, or Zayn. I hate how things are now, everything's so complicated. It's not even just Liam anymore, but Niall and Louis too. They also seem to be mad at me for the decisions I've made, and although I can't blame them, it still makes me sad. I feel as though I'm the main source of this team's problems as of late.

I know I shouldn't feel that way, but I do, and I feel it's mostly true. But, I also wish that they would sit down and listen to what I have to say. Not just listen, but actually take the time out to understand the predicament I'm in. I'm in such a tough spot at this time, and they don't even know the half of it. After having Zayn sit down with him and talk to him about everything, telling him things I could've never guessed with his own made up theories. Hearing about what happened to Zayn's family, the things he had to endure all the while having an internal battle with himself and fighting for control.

He'd had to deal with that all alone, no one there to help him, no one there who understood what he was going through. I didn't understand it at first, but now that I know what actually happened, there was no way I could just turn his back on Zayn. Not when he meant so much to me. Not after all we've been through together. And especially not when my love for him ran so deep that it was impossible to break.

Now that everything made sense, and I'd finally been able to reunite with Zayn, I've been much more happier. I never thought the day would come where I'd find myself truly happy again. I've spent the last few years moping around, depressed, trying to smile through the obvious pain that resided within me, trying to pretend I was okay. It may seem stupid to be distraught over someone like that for years, but of course they didn't understand it because they weren't the ones who had to go through it.

They'll never truly comprehend it, but I still have to clear things up. There's no sense in leaving unresolved problems, unresolved.

Once we make it back in the Tower, everyone remains gathered in the main room. Niall and Louis sitting down the sofa, while Liam stood by the wall, arms crossed, looking tense and upset like he always did nowadays. I'm not even sure when was the last time I'd seen him crack a smile. Lately, he was just filled with bitterness and hatred. It was like Liam had turned into a completely different person, and I didn't know when he'd ever return to his normal self. Maybe, today, I can somehow get them all to see eye to eye with me.

"Well," Louis speaks first, grabbing all of our attention. "You wanted to talk, so go ahead." The tone in his voice wasn't super friendly, but he didn't sound like he was angry either. I sigh softly, taking a seat at the very end of the sofa, furthest away from everyone, settling my hands in my lap.

"Look, guys, I know that you're upset with me right now and I know what you're thinking. But, I promise, it's not like that." I tell them, glimpsing over at Liam briefly before looking back at the other two.

"Then what is it like? Cause from where I'm standing it looks like you're protecting a traitor, and a criminal." Liam says, tilting his head with his eyes narrowed. I exhale, looking back at him.