𝘱𝘴, 𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘺𝘰𝘶 » 𝘻𝘢𝘳𝘳𝘺 (discontinued)

chapter thirty

Harry

I needed to go see him.

I've been thinking more than I needed to about it, and I decided that I needed to do it. It was either now or never and I think I'd be able to live better if I knew the reason behind all of this. Or not. It all just depends on the motive. It could be something stupid or something reasonable. Either way, I needed to know what and I was going to see him, to find out. I felt bad about deciding not to inform the others, but this was something that was important to me and they should respect and understand that. As much as everyone had been pushing me non stop to get over it, they don't understand that it's not really over until some type of closure is made.

And that's what I'm planning to get, closure. Today was the perfect day to do it. My stomach was in knots. Just the thought of going to him and possibly having somewhat of a decent conversation made my head spin. I haven't had a sane normal conversation with him since now three years ago. I was hoping that this would be a normal discussion. I was hoping that he wasn't going to try anything funny, I was really hoping that he legitimately wanted to talk to me. I didn't want to waste my time getting my hopes up for the one thing I wanted the most. An explanation. I was willing to risk being hurt again just to hear it.

For the first part of the day, I kept my mind at bay acting as natural as possible. If I so much to act any different or even slightly odd, no doubt I'm going to get questioned as I always did. Everyone was always suspecting me of keeping things locked inside of me, letting it bother and distract me, but I honestly felt I had no choice but to keep some things to myself. Some things just weren't up for discussion. I deserved my privacy just as much as the next person. I don't know why it was me who always had to speak up when no one else did.

As the midday mark hit, that's when I began to become a bit antsy. Whenever I sat down, my leg would bounce subconsciously. When I stood up, I ended up pacing. My body just felt so restless, and it was getting tougher to hide. Especially when I had Liam practically everywhere I went, constantly wanting to love up on me. Even that was hardly a distraction. I went into the lounge and lied down as I eyed the digital clock near the tv. four thirty seven. He had never given me a specific time to come, but I figured he would be there around the same time I had taken a run the other day. It was just an instinct. So, as I watched the time slowly go by, my stomach wouldn't stop tightening. And when it came time to actually go, there was this lump in my throat I couldn't seem to get rid of.

I was dressed as if I was going for another run, so the guys knew exactly where I was going when I left the tower. But they didn't know, not today they didn't. I didn't run, nor jog or speed walk. I walked a normal but slower pace into town. I feared arriving too fast, I needed time to prepare my mind and words. I felt like there wasn't enough time in the world to do that, because the closer I got the more foggy my mind became.

I hadn't even been running, yet my body felt so heated and I felt like I was losing oxygen. I patted my forehead wondering if I had been sweating or if that was my imagination. I huffed when I didn't feel anything there, which I was thankful for. I honestly didn't want to be sweating like a pig. I didn't want him to see me like that.. I just wanted to appear at least somewhat decent. I was already as nervous as I'd ever been before, I didn't need to look it as well. As I stepped onto the street where I last saw him, I stopped walking as I stared down the sidewalk.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, proceeding to walk forward. My legs felt a bit stiff and there was a bunch of tiny voices of myself talking at once in my head. Some of them positive, some of them negative, some of them in between of the outcomes of what's about to happen. I wanted to stick with my positive thoughts, but for a long time things haven't been good at all. There was still that little flicker of hope burning inside of me that today wouldn't be as crappy as I imagined. I look up, pausing once I realize that I was near the alleyway I was dragged into the other day, my heart suddenly speeding up. I placed my hand over my chest in attempt to slow it.

After I stand there for the longest time, I finally released a breath I didn't realize I was holding, as I slowly step foot into the alley. It felt like I was entering a horror movie as I stepped between the two buildings where is was only slightly lit by the sun, but heading towards the back it became a little darker. I take very few steps at a time, my legs feeling weaker and weaker with each one, while my hands were becoming sweaty. My eyes scan the area in search of Zayn, but I didn't see him. All there was in sight was a dumpster and a black gate at the end of the alley. Was he even gonna be here? Did I come here only for him to bail on me? Maybe he didn't think I'd come so he didn't? I don't know. The more I stand there thinking about it, the more discouraged I began to feel.

But it didn't last very long as I hear something from behind me. It's very light, so light I care barely tell it's there, but I am so sure it was the sound of feet hitting the ground very softly. I quickly turn around to see that it was in fact Zayn, dropping down from wherever he came from. It was so amazing how quiet and sneaky he could be. I almost didn't hear him come in. He was getting better and better at this. How did he do it? A lot of training? He was kneeling on the ground in a frog like position which lead me to believe he had probably jumped down from the top of the building, which wasn't too high, but it was crazy how he barely made a sound upon touching the ground. He was wearing all black, down to his shoes, the same looking jacket with a hood pulled over his head and half his face covered as if he didn't want to be seen. But why? Why would he need to hide? And why was he dressed like that in this crazy summer heat? Just looking at his outfit made me wanna break out into a sweat.

"You came." He mumbles underneath the fabric covering his mouth. I subconsciously nod as I watch him stand up straight and pull down the fabric covering his mouth, so I could see his whole face. Even with shade blocking him slightly, I could still see his glistening tanned skin and his chocolate colored eyes. I couldn't help but stare. Before my eyes started to roam, I snap myself out of it and remember the reason that I'm here. Not to gawk, but to get answers. I needed to stand my ground, I couldn't be so weak around him no matter how hard it was. I shake my head and cross my arms, making my face as straight s I could and keeping my voice leveled.

"You wanted to talk." I say.

"I do." He nods, stepping closer to me to stand merely centimeters away. I swallow thickly, keeping calm.

"Then talk." Zayn shakes his head.

"Not here, somewhere more private." He says. I give him a curious look and he slightly bows his head at me before adding, "If that's okay with you.." He trailed off. I stay neutral and shrugs shortly.

"Okay." I say nonchalantly. Zayn nods briefly before he walks around me, mumbling for me to follow him. I turn around and watch him walk for a few moments, wondering if it were even safe to follow him or if he planning something malicious under my nose. I narrow my eyes at his back, standing there as he disappears behind the corner. I sigh and snap out of it, realizing I was being ridiculous before taking off running to catch up with him. I stop just a few steps behind him and he turns his head, acknowledging that I was there and decided to actually come.

Walking behind him, in complete silence only the scrapping of my feet could be heard, because somehow Zayn had silent footsteps. It was nerve racking the further he lead me to God knows where. As soon as we step out from the shadows and into the soon, Zayn yanks his hood back on. In confusion, I continue to follow him and the further and further we get, the more I realize where's he's possibly taking me. Five more minutes into the quiet walk, we end up exactly where I thought we'd be. Central Park.

The place Zayn and I first officially met.

~

what's zayn hiding from

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