𝘱𝘴, 𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘺𝘰𝘶 » 𝘻𝘢𝘳𝘳𝘺 (𝘥𝘪𝘴𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘶𝘦𝘥)

chapter forty six

Harry

Zayn took me back to his place after the little falling out with Liam. He told me that I could stay here tonight because he and I both knew that Liam would tell the guys what had happened and most likely everyone will gang up on me and give me an ear full. I was far too much stressed to deal with all three of them at the moment, and I think we all needed a night to cool down. Even though I would eventually have to go back and face them, explain this all. They deserved it I guess, and it was wrong of me to hide what was going on between Zayn and I.

I was a little nervous to come and stay the night with Zayn. Things between us were becoming pretty heated really fast and old feelings were getting stronger as they returned in multiples. There was no denying that I had strong feelings for him, always have. They never faded and they weren't going to anytime soon. Not with how things were going now, which made so many questions swarm in my head. What exactly was happening with us? We hung out all the time, but it wasn't just hanging out. We had very deep meaningful talks, we touched one another; they were small gentle touches that always got my stomach twisting and turning, tingles running up my spine. We kissed- and it was just so effortlessly, so natural. Not to mention some of the things we said to each other or just the way we were with one another.

Did- did that mean that we were something more? Did it mean that we were together? As in, in a relationship? Just thinking that question in my head made me have heart palpitations. I didn't necessarily know if kissing made us a thing again, or if it meant anything at all, but it certainly did mean something to me. Maybe instead of asking myself that over and over again, I could just ask Zayn if what we were doing meant more and if it meant that we were... together. Imagining being Zayn's boyfriend once more made my stomach turn, not in a bad way. But then again, I feared it.

What if Zayn didn't want that again with me? What if he wanted to just be friends with me and keep everything just casual? One side of me told me that was a stupid logic, but the other thought the worst. Either way, I didn't even think that I would have enough courage to start up that discussion. Maybe Zayn himself would bring it up sometime soon. He was always a little more confident than I was in expressing himself and his feelings. It made things between us so much easier and gave me reassurance.

We quietly made it to Zayn's bedroom, once there Zayn had lent me some of his clothes to sleep in since he figured it would be uncomfortable to sleep in the clothes I was wearing before. I changed into his clothes and felt this warmth rush over me at just the feel of his slightly larger clothing hanging loosely on my body, nearly swallowing my slim figure. It was such a familiar pleasurable feeling to have Zayn's clothes on me. It reminded me of old times.. and as Zayn and I lay there next to one another in his bed, I couldn't help but to take in the amazing scent his shirt produced that melted my heart and relaxed my soul. I never stopped loving this feeling.

I feel warm fingers make contact with my face, gently stroking the soft flesh of my cheek, catching my attention. I slowly avert my eyes up to see Zayn now facing me, his eyes locked on mine. A thoughtful expression resting on his face as he gazed at me.

"What's on your mind?" Zayn asks, his fingers continuing to glide swiftly over my cheek. I bite my lip gently as I eyed him, deep in thought. Maybe now was the time to bring it up. I was still a little skeptical on the subject, but I didn't see a better time than now. Zayn seemed to be wide awake, no signs of sleeping anytime soon and I myself didn't want to sleep another night with this thought torturing me.

"You really wanna know?" I replied. Zayn nods.

"Of course."

"You," I say without hesitation. I move my hand to rest on his cheek as well, my fingertips tracing down his sharp firm jawline ever so slightly. Zayn's eyes peeled open a little more, surprised by my sudden affection, but didn't say anything as I continued. "Us..." I say a little more reluctantly as I drew my bottom lip back in between my teeth, looking at Zayn with wide sparkling eyes that I'm sure he found amusing, but I was curious for what his response would be. Zayn dropped his hand from my face which makes my heart falter a little at the action.

"Yeah?" He asks. I nod, my hand also starting to fall from his face, becoming a little unsure about it now. However, Zayn catches my hand, keeping it in place, while he rested his own against the back of mind. I could feel the tingles spark up right in my fingertips, a prickly but pleasant feeling. Zayn's warm thumb fondled with the back of my hand that rested still on his jaw. "What about us?" He asks.

I swallow thickly, "I-If there is an- is there? I mean, a-are we-" I stopped, sucking in a large breath when I was unable to get my words out. I hear Zayn laugh breathily, and I frown slightly, looking down feeling a little stupid. Zayn brings my head back up by hooking his fingers around my chin, he was smiling as my eyes met his again. I was slightly confused by him. "W-what?"

"You're so oblivious sometimes, Harry." He says. I wanted to be offended by those words, but he didn't sound like he said it to hurt me, but more so in a joking half hearted manner. "I think you and I both know the answer that question." He says. I suck in a breath, the hopeful look that lingered in my eyes starting to grow.

"Harry, despite everything that's happened leading up to this moment, whether it's good or bad, I have never had a doubt in my mind about my love for you. Even when I was having my mind manipulated, when I was causing destruction, letting go of all of that rage that settled within me; my heart never stopped beating for you, never stopped craving you, never stopped loving you." Zayn tells me, every word flowing effortlessly from his lips and every word spoken with deep meaning and sincerity. My heart is fluttering and pulsating heavily in my chest, I almost felt like I couldn't breath. I swallow thickly as a lump form in my throat, keeping my eyes focused on his. My hands become a little clammy and if we stayed like this any longer I'd probably start sweating buckets and gross him out.

"And I feel as though this is my second chance- our second chance to be able to together again. But, only if you want that, because I know for sure that I do." Zayn continues, his eyes darkening with deep meaning. I felt the giddiness inside me skyrocket as I quickly fight to compose myself. This is it, this is really it. This was the moment I've been waiting for, for the past nearly three years. Just another chance to be with him, to have him back where he belongs, to have my very first friend- my very first love come back to me. My wish really came true, even after I had just given the idea of Zayn and I ever being together again.

"I- I do." My voice cracks slightly, "I- I do want to be with you."

Zayn smiles, "Then be with me. Again."

This time I couldn't hold it back. I release the smallest of squeals as I collide into Zayn's chest, tightly maneuvering my arms around him and pulling him closer. Above, I hear Zayn laugh softly and hug me back firmly. We lay like this for a while, embracing one another as we slightly rock from the position we were in on the bed. It was a happy silence surrounding us and a light atmosphere. It felt amazing.

Zayn pulls back for a second to stare into my eyes again.

"I love you, Harry. I always have."

"Zayn, I love you too."

~